Sunday, June 7, 2009

Runnin' From the Light

Have you ever had a time when you felt like a fraud? Are there times when you feel like you are just going through the motions, doing church things but without real feelings or meaning?
Usually when we are working hard to live out our faith we have no problem talking about it, but when we aren't it isn't easy to articulate what we believe. I know there are some who can preach one thing and live another, but sooner or later that will break down. For me it is much easier to articulate what I believe when I am actually practicing it. God has a way of reminding me to examine myself when I get "hot under the collar" about some injustice. I hear the question in my mind (not literally or vocally though)"and what about you?" I have to evaluate my life on the topic at hand and make sure I am being true to what I believe.

I had a time in college when a classmate asked me "and what do you believe?". He was Catholic and was curious about what I, a Baptist, believed. I don't remember exactly what topic or area we were discussing (there were a few of us) ...though I do know we were playing pool, not in a deep discussion. I was away from home for the first time, freshman in college, attending church but in reality just "going through the motions". I didn't feel like I was really living my faith - not that I was doing bad things ,just not in tune with God right then. I ended up saying "oh, I believe lots of things", and walking away. I knew anything I said would not feel honest and I was afraid of the discussion.
This is the subject of my song "Runnin' From the Light" (third song in the soundclick sidebar),...though the specific inspiration came from a relative who evidenced the same behaviour.
Please be sure that you are not just going through the motions. Know what you believe and live it. Life is much easier that way.:)

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