Fillers

Fillers are found in many places. They are not essential ingredients yet either are placed or found everywhere. In food they are used to bulk up a product to make it look larger or feel heavier than actual to help sell the product. In school papers they are meant to fool the teacher into thinking the student knows more than they do. In businesses or homes they are meant to add bulk to a room and impress with size.

Toastmasters know these well and try to avoid them. There is a specific meeting role - Ah Counter - that is tasked with calling them out to help speakers avoid them in the future. Many of them are words that have a proper place in our vocabulary , but not to be used as a substitute for a purposeful pause between thoughts. One of my "favorites" is "so". It is a perfectly good work, but you should not use it to start a sentence. Other usual ones are ah, um, like, and you know. Other faulted verbals are overuse of "and" to connect thoughts and double words - repeating the same word twice in a row. These are indications of lack of focus or losing a train of thought. The best way to avoid these is to simply pause, but many people are uncomfortable with silence, however brief.

I have recently realized that there is another type of filler that isn't easily detectable. It is wordiness , using several words when a single word or two will suffice. Sometimes it is from lack of confidence - we almost beg for someone to help or give permission. Sometimes we feel we need to make our case before asking. Sometimes we just like to talk and can't get to the point fast.

I have three ways to combat this One is called BLUF  bottom line up front. I learned this from a prior work manager. He introduced this term to help us with our email communication. He said state what you really want first, then explain why. I started practicing that and it has really improved both my communication and my confidence. I have had a struggle with feeling I had to explain the situation first and then ask for help, often timidly.

Simply be direct in your communication. Less is more and straight forward beats hemming and hawing. No one is persuaded by long lists and detailed descriptions of problems, Once you get someone on board to help you can flesh out with details - often in response to their followup questions.

And , thirdly, don't give people an easy way to say 'no'. Don't be presumptuous and act like they have already said yes, but don't automatically assume they will say 'no' either. Ask in such a way that leads them to say yes. Instead of saying "can you do this? or "may I do this?" , say 'please help me with this". They may still say "no" or "i can't" , but at least they have to work at it. If you say "can I have next Tuesday off?" they have an easy 'yes or no' response opportunity. If you say "I need to take next Tuesday off", they have to think about it , and the possibility of  approval goes up.

Fight fillers and fluff - needless words that just take up space and don't add to your message. It will strengthen both your everyday communication and your speeches to enrich the world.

Hesitation or the Road Not Taken

I am an introvert. That doesn't mean that I don't talk or talk in front of people. In fact, I love it.
But it does mean for one thing that I don't rush into things. I tend to analyze, prepare more, and ponder things before I say yes or no. I want to give a careful response- to look before I leap.

It doesn't mean that leaping in impulsively is bad, or that others don't plan. It just means that I am wired to take time before responding and some may get frustrated - but I am okay with that and I thus feel more comfortable with my choices. I see that as a strength.

But it can be stretched too far and like other strengths stretched too far become a weakness.
It ceases to be contemplation and becomes hesitation and even indecisiveness and ultimately
a lost opportunity.

One example I call '" the road not taken" (with thoughts of Robert Frost). Some of you may
have heard my speech "The Road Goes Ever on and on" about my Grand Canyon hike down
the Bright Angel trail from Rim to River and back up to the Rim in one day -in July years ago.
It was an arduous journey - about 18 miles, 4500 feet of elevation difference each way and donesolo. It is not recommended to do it in a day, but I have reasons I needed to do it that way
and I was in great shape and well prepared. I had done many shorter hikes in the years before.
It was the most exhausted and yet the most exhilarated adventure I have ever done. I have neverregretted it.

What you don't know about is the hike I didn't take in the Grand Canyon. I was looking
down from the rim at another trail - the Tonto trail, which stretches across the Tonto Plateau,
connecting the Bright Angel and the Kaibab trails. It was a way to experience a steep downhill
section of the hot, dry, shadeless Kaibab, traverse the flat Tonto Plateau, and come back up the
gentler, watered, sometimes shady Bright Angel to the Rim. And it offered a refreshing visit at the oasis of Indian Gardens, with a potential trip out to Panorama Point with its view ofColorado far below. It only involved half of the rim to river elevation gain going back up.

It should have been fine and a no-brainer hike decision. But two things gave me pause.
One , there was the matter of having 2 trailheads to manage transport to and from, with a
a fair distance between, instead of going down and coming back up to the same spot.
And then as I gazed down on the very visible Tonto trail I began to worry "there aren't many
people crossing it" as opposed to the Bright Angel and Kaibab. I worried about getting
lost (long before cell phones) and I hesitated and ultimately did not make that hike. And I
regretted it ever since.  A little thing like not having the same trailhead and too much thought
sabotaged my plans.

It's not to say that preparation is not important, nor is weighing the risks and benefits of actions
not valid - because many people have suffered and died from hasty unprepared hikes - nature
can be very unforgiving. But if over-analysis can become paralysis and you can miss the
adventure of a lifetime.

And did I mention that the "road not taken" hike came after my Rim-river-Rim one day hike?
I had already had success, but hesitation can strike at any time. Please don't let it stop you from
success.

Visualizing a speech

In my years of being a Toastmaster, I have never once used notes in giving speeches.

I have written out speeches ahead of time to practice, but when I get up to speak
I leave notes behind. It does help that I have a good memory and have done plenty
of memorized presentations in the past - Shakespeare in high school and college
memorized passages in church as a child, etc - but also how I build my speeches.
And how I visualize them.

For me, a speech is like a room. It has a floor, a ceiling, and walls.

The flooring is the introduction of your speech, both the Toastmaster-read introduction
and the first spoken paragraph of your speech.
They set the stage for what is to come. They tell the audience where you are coming from
and hint at where you are going - the ceiling.

The ceiling is your goal - the point or points you want to make by giving the speech.
You need to have that firmly in mind. If you don’t you will get off track
and your audience will get confused. And instead of a nice neat room,
you will have just a mass of lumber.

The structure of the speech is composed of the walls, 3 or 4 main points
that support the ceiling and are grounded on the floor. Having just 3 or 4 main points
helps you focus on the message you want to communicate and helps the audience
follow as you lead them to your conclusion. You can subdivide each point,
but keep your focus so that the ceiling will remain strong.

Once you have created that basic structure you can go about decorating,
adding illustrative details. Explore the “room” and see what it can contain.
As you write, rewrite, and rehearse the speech make sure that all you “see”
in the room fits and is the best use of the space.

Make sure you time the speech so that you will know the ‘dimensions’ of the room
because you will need to trim and sometimes it can be hard to cut out words
to make the time fit.

We all can fall in love with our words and phrases, and it is easy to exceed
the time limits that speeches entail. Filler words, “helping”phrases,
and just plain wordiness - using many words when one or two will do -
are easy to spot and remove.

Off topic sentences are harder. And some of the hardest are very creative
bits of writing/speaking that we are proud of, but which don’t fit into this
particular speech. They can be fragments that would be very supportive of
another point, but don’t fit here.

The words of a speech that illustrate a point are like the furniture in the room.
In any room, you have certain furniture that would be suitable but not others. It doesn’t matter how well made it is you only have items in the room that fit i
ts purpose.
The same thing applies to a speech. You may have been very creative
and it sounds great,but if it does not fit the room you must remove it.
You may have created a very beautiful, solid and functional pool table,
but if you are creating a restaurant dining room - it does not fit.
Save it for your next speech - the pool hall. Likewise, a “bed” would not fit either.
Don’t fall in love with your words.

And don’t forget that any good room needs doors or windows.
There needs to be an opportunity for people to leave and take the message
with them. Your speech should call for action and provide guidance for listeners
to respond. Otherwise, all you have is an echo chamber,

This helps me go without notes and still stay focused so that the audience
understands and benefits. I hope this will help you as you tell your own stories.
I delivered a speech on this a while back and will share others as we continue
this journey together.

Cheers