Don't wait

 The troubles with New Year's resolutions are many. Oftentimes they are built on guilt. They start with "I should start (or end) this practice".  You feel you should do something, or stop doing something. Not necessarily what you want to do. And they are based on starting on a certain date, and extending throughout the year. You feel as if you must do this thing every day, and if you miss a day you have failed. It's not as if being successful a high percentage of the time is okay. It is all or nothing - either you are perfect or it is a waste. It is not a good model for success. And the build up to the start date - New Year's - is stressful - like running a race. You can't start a new year's practice on January 2nd or 3rd. And you can't get a head start on December 30th or 31st. That just won't do. So most people either make new year's resolutions, work at it a few days and quit. Or they don't make new year's resolutions at all- and also don't make plans to improve their lives at all.

I think we need a different model. One that recognizes that it usually takes about 30 days to make a significant change. One that focuses on what we really want to do. And one that doesn't wait for a certain date to begin, but just does it now. If you really believe that some change in your life needs to happen, and that changing a specific behavior will help, why not just start doing it now?  Recently I went to the doctor for my annual physical. One of the issues I have is diabetes and my blood sugar numbers were high. I had been pretty regular in the past few years since being diagnosed, but during the pandemic I had gotten lax and also had some interruptions in prescription delivery and wasn't checking my numbers regularly. 

I knew that I needed to confront this and take corrective action- which my doctor recommended I do. I got the testing equipment squared away and my prescriptions fully filled. I restarted a practice that I had done before - regular testing in the morning, so I knew what my daily numbers were. And I started keeping track of numbers and what I ate on a daily basis, in a handy little notebook I carried with me. As a result I saw my numbers going down and could see why - and if my numbers were higher one day I could see why from what I had eaten.  My doctor was glad, and so was I. I established a good routine. And it was built on just doing it, not waiting for some special date.

So, for this coming year I urge you to embrace change. Don't wait till New Year's day to make some vague "resolution". Don't succumb to guilt. Find a vision of what changes you would really like to make this year, what actions that will take you to places you want to go, who you want to be. And start living that vision today.  Don't Wait.

Unconditional Love

 This past Wednesday I remembered my Mom on what would have been her 104th birthday.

She's  been gone for over 40 years, but the lessons she taught me, and the example of unconditional love resonates with me still. Especially in these days when hate and division are so evident and troubling.

Her guiding principle was to inclusion - accepting everyone and anyone, regardless of who they were, where they were from or how different they might be from you. She had a real sense of responsibility for the common good -to help wherever and whenever she could regardless of how it might affect her.

A couple examples come to mind: Once when I was a teenager there came up the issue of school levies being voted down. We were living in Glendale, Arizona and the schools were always in need of more funds to improve the schools for the families (some middle class and some lower class economically) who had kids. Unfortunately our school district also included the Sun City retirement community, where the residency required age 55 and over, so none of those residents had school age kids. And the general attitude was " I raised my kids already, I shouldn't have to pay for others' kids".

My mom was appalled. She had raised 5 of us kids - I was almost out of the house and off to college, my sisters were all out of the house, so she had no kids in the schools. And yet she felt that providing education for those school kids was a community responsibility. She and my dad were old enough to qualify for residency in Sun City and yet she would not have lived there.. She loved kids, taught kids, and fought for them to be able to get quality education. She was thrilled when Sun City was separated from the Glendale school district and the school levies were finally passed.

Another example came much earlier. My sisters and I were all raised in Portland, Oregon. And we attended a local conservative Baptist church. Our family was much involved in the church, my mom as a teacher and choir member, my dad working with the summer camping program. The church had missionary outreaches to Africa, specifically Cameroon. It was a good church and very supportive of those efforts. But then there was a time when one of the local pastors there visited our church.

My mom overheard some women discussing the presence of the African pastor in the services - in a negative manner. She was appalled and upset at their obvious double standard and discrimination. Oh, it was okay to help churches in Africa, but heaven forbid they visit us! My mom reached out to our visitors and welcomed them. 

For these reasons and many more examples I believe that my mom (and my dad too) would be appalled at the racism and other demeaning accusations thrown around to describe people, communities, and countries today. I don't think that we would always see eye to eye on every issue, but I know that our discussions, and her discussions with others, even with those she disagreed with, would be civil , respectful and rational. And that in all things she would strive to display love and acceptance to all.

She raised me and my sisters that way and we strive to live it out every day. She "practiced what she preached". No matter what I believe that is what we are called to do. Yes, speak up,, speak truth to power, denounce the hateful words. But at the same time treat others as you would want to be treated, with unconditional love..

remember Labor Day

 We are all grateful for holidays, and that most of them are on mondays so we get a 3-day weekend. 

However most of the time we view them only as time off or time for "holiday sales". and we forget the reasons that they are there. And some of them, like Veterans Day, aren't even a paid holiday for everyone.

We tend to see some, like Memorial Day and today, Labor Day, as seasonal markers, rather than what they were originally meant for. Memorial Day, seen as the beginning of summer, was originally set aside as a day for remembering and memorializing those who died in military service of our country, just as Veterans Day (which often is not given as a standard day off for most workers), was set aside to remember all those who served their country in the military. I have family recognized on each day. 

Labor Day, today, was established not as an end to summer, but as a day to remember all who labor and the gains that we all owe to the labor movement in this country. To those who organized, protested dangerous working conditions, and worked hard to change our workplaces for the better. Eight hour days, 40 hr weeks, paid overtime,, the elimination of child labor, workplace safety, and the ability of workers to organize in unions to collectively bargain for better working conditions and improved compensation for their hard labor are just a few of the benefits we have today because of the labor of others who have gone before.

And they persevered, despite harsh resistance from business owners and even government at times. They persevered in the face of government raids, accusations of being unpatriotic and subversive, and other attempts by business to organize against them. They persisted and we need to honor them for it.

So today, as on other holidays, while you are relaxing and enjoying having the day off, remember those who made this day possible and keep vigilant to not let their sacrifices be in vain. Remember especially that you only have any holidays (and paid ones at that) because of what labor organizers have done.

Remember to move your feet

Do you practice what you preach? Talk is cheap, real change costs us in time, effort, and heart.

“I don’t know” – it may be true and it is good to admit instead of trying to create an explanation. But when you really do know, you should say it. Speak the truth instead of trying to hide behind ignorance. I have noticed that lately from officials trying to escape responsibility.

“I’m sorry”…..oh, are you sorry for the wrong that you’ve done, or because you were caught red-handed? It is only as you attempt restitution, express remorse, or turn around (repent) and start doing the right things, that you demonstrate the reality of your apology.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with you”…nice sentiment and comforting words, but have you attempted to really help? If you have the ability to do something to alleviate suffering, prevent further harm, or build a strong foundation to help improve others conditions, then your prayers and thoughts are empty words. You need to put feet to your prayers and quit uttering pious pronouncements.

As the late John Lewis used to say, quoting the African proverb –“when you pray, move your feet”

Bunny counts

 In our confused, contentious, crazy world, it is easy to lose sight of things that are important.

Often we have plenty of people who tell us what we should be paying attention to, and many times they are right. The problem is that we get stressed out, from the seriousness, the multiplicity, and the seeming powerlessness of we common folk to actively affect the outcome of the battles we see all around us. 

Whether it is the covid-19 virus, the racial tensions, or a government that is seemingly unresponsive or worse yet, hostile to our cries for  help in the many crises we face, it all gets to be a bit overwhelming. We all need a break sometimes. No relationship can survive only concentrating on serious matters. My wife and I can be very serious, but we also have a lot of fun. And when all seems dark we need to see the sun breaks. They are often right in front of our faces.

An example for me is my morning walks. Because I work from home daily I could literally jump out of bed and logon to my computer and begin work. I don't because even though I am a life-long early bird (just ask my sisters), I need to get my eyes clear and my mind prepared for the day. And I need the exercise as well. So every day I walk around my neighborhood for 30-45 minutes. I give myself pep talks and remind myself of what I am grateful for specifically.. And I breathe deeply the surrounding green, savor the rain when it falls, and observe the local creatures.

We have plenty of crows, jays, robins, and ducks that fly to and fro, with many different voices. We have squirrels, an occasional raccoon. But my favorite are the local wild rabbits.

I am surprised many times when they dart out from the bush, or I come across them munching the grass beside the sidewalks and trails I travel. I recently discovered we have a local garden by a nearby church that was set up to help people grow their own vegetables during the virus isolation time. That may explain some of the bunny sightings, eh?  Anyway I pay attention , and take pictures, of the local inhabitants. And I often count how many I see on my walks. Sometimes just 1 or 2, a few times up to 9 or 10, and sometimes none at all -like today:(. 

It is a good reminder that life goes on all around us. It gives balance to our lives, helping us weather the storms of life. Kind of like taking a deep breath. So as you do daily battle and stand up for what is right, remember not only to "stop and smell the roses along the way", but also take a "bunny count" - and don't forget to chomp your own carrots:)

Don't be Colorblind

In response to questions about racial inequality many are tempted to say

“ I don’t see color, I view everyone as equal” or “I’m colorblind”

To some that might seem okay, but there are hidden dangers with that approach and there are 3 specific problems.

One is that in reality you are not colorblind – unless you have a vision test that determines your eyes are malfunctioning. And that only means you have trouble distinguishing the red/yellow/green of the stoplights. Everyone notices color differences, as well as other racial/ethnic physical differences. It is as clear as we determine gender differences or height/weight, etc. To say we don’t observe those is just being dishonest. It isn’t wrong to see differences, it is how we react to those differences. And to state that we “don’t see color” is to say we see equality as everyone being like us, not as truly equal as they are.

The second problem with “colorblind” is that it ignores the obvious inequality of background, history, and what different people have had to struggle with in their lives. My wife and I share a lot in common, but we differ greatly in family background – her parents were divorced when she was just 5, my parents were married for 36 years (death do them part) until my mom passed away. That made our growing up time very different. I have several great-nieces and great nephews who are biracial. Their life experiences have been widely different than mine. I will never have to suffer getting profiled or judged wrongly  based on appearance,  but they have had to deal with that all their lives. For me to say I am colorblind is to deny those experiences. And to excuse not extending help in overcoming that obvious bias.

The third problem is a little bit more subtle. I think a lot of people are afraid of diversity and “colorblind” is a way for them to pretend those don’t exist – there is safety in thinking those others are just like us. But those who we see as different have had different experiences, they’re not just like us – and that is okay. Because if you accept and appreciate another’s life experiences you expand your own experience. And you have the opportunity to not just give help, but receive help.

You have the opportunity to bond and grow.

I have learned much over the years as I have embraced diversity. My mom raised me to accept people as equals, no matter who they were, where they were from, no matter how different they appeared to me. And I try to live that out every day.

I am not colorblind, and neither should you. Seeing differences does not diminish the basic equality of value that we ascribe to all.

the power of symbolism

Today is Bastille Day, a national day of celebration for the French. A pivotal day in the history of the country and a beginning of the road to the downfall of the monarchy and the long, lurching road to democracy. And yet in reality not much really happened. Bastille Day is named for the hated French prison is Paris and it was "stormed" that day and "liberated". But did you know that there was only one prisoner in the whole place? I guess you could say that it was the flash of a match that lit the fire of revolution. The whole French Revolution was quite unlike our own- very violent and wide swings of power. Many of the movers and shakers ended up dying at the hands of  the Revolution they created. And it was decades of back and forth between Republic and restored Monarchy before France settled on the organized parliamentary system and multi-party arrangement they have now.
But the symbolism of Bastille Day drove them on.

So too is the Emancipation Proclamation in US History. We mark  it as the first real shot in tackling slavery and yet when it was issued in 1962 it didn't free a single slave. It proclaimed liberty to all slaves residing in the rebelling Confederate states, over which the Union did not exercise control, and said nothing about slaves living in the Union or non-rebelling states. It wasn't until the 13th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified in December of 1865 that any slaves north of the Mason-Dixon line were freed. And the importance of Juneteenth, June 19th 1865, was that on that date all the slaves in the South had finally heard the news of the Proclamation and knew that they were legally free, because the South had been occupied by Union troops and could enforce the decree of liberty.

But the power of symbolism was important for both events. It drove people's actions - as the Union Army drove further into the South, slaves knew that they could be free if they only could get across the battle lines to Union-controlled territory. And the fall of the Bastille drove the French to firmly put an end to the grip of the monarchy.

Don't overlook the power of symbols. Use them to drive action. History is replete with examples of their power.

Don't swear at the squirrels

Don’t swear at the squirrel, don’t damn the deer, for though they may be slow they have as much right to be here as you.

When you least expect, when you think you have the road to yourself, nature rises up to surprise you. I had a corner near where I used to live which seemed to sprout squirrels – or at least one who every so often decided to dare me to miss him. He seemed to wait for me and rush out at the last moment. I always managed to take evasive action to miss him, but it spooked me none the less

Once when coming down a mountain ridge in California I saw a deer standing by the road, and willed it to stand still, since I didn’t want to hit it, but had a steep rise on one side of the road and a sharp dropoff on the  other side. I later saw a deer dash out to cross the road up over on the Olympic Peninsula and get hit because a car couldn’t stop in time.

We have these open roads fit for cars and trucks and we are content to just plug along obliviously. But nature’s creatures are all around and need to cross. Let’s be mindful of how we drive. There are also plenty of bikes, tractors, or just slow cars that share the road, and we need to be mindful and considerate of their right to be there.

It’s like that in life, not just in driving. We may have it easy uncomplicated, never wanting for the basic necessities of life, never hassled for the way we look, where we were born, how we   worship, or who we love. We have no impediments in our history or family that cause us difficulty or even pause. But we don’t inhabit this world alone. There are many going down that road of life that struggle to get by, that can’t zoom along, and they have the same right as us to drive this road of life.



It’s like the coworker I once knew who was so upset by “slow” drivers that he described his entry to the freeway once as “driving fast and close down the entrance ramp while blaring his horn full blast to get the guy in front of him to get  out of the way”. How rude. I was glad not to be in front of him that day, but I prayed for all those who had been and would be.

So do the equivalent of social distancing in your car and your life – give space to those who need it. And if you come across a group of    geese crossing the road, stop and let them pass. You’ll get to your destination soon enough.

We will survive

Sometimes we miss lessons in history because notable dates and events are often not recognized as holidays or otherwise treated as special. There are no fireworks or special sales. Usually they are only noted by historians. Such a time was last Wednesday through Friday.  July 3rd was the 157th anniversary of the final day the Battle of Gettysburg. I remember partly because I am a history buff - my major in college was history and political science. And partly because my great-grandfather was there that fateful day.

My great-grandfather Anson Elisha Wright was born in Bristol Vermont and enlisted in the Union Army during the Civil War. He was with the 14th Vermont Regiment which was in the middle of the Union lines on Cemetery Ridge when General George Pickett lead his fateful charge. The Confederate Army was repulsed and retreated and never threatened the North again. It cost 20,000 killed and wounded on either side, the bloodiest battle of the war and though  the war didn't officially end for almost 2 years, it was the turning point where the South's destiny was sealed. 

All that to say, while these past months and years have been rough, we have been through worse times. We were literally split in two as a country, fighting state against state, brother against brother.

And yet we survived. Because people stood up for what was right.

And that is our call. Remember the tough times this country has come through. Don't forget your history. Between the Great Depression, the Spanish Flu, both World Wars, as well as the Civil War, we have had tough times to endure. Scandals galore. And continue to stand up and not only believe that we will get through this, but act on it as you can. 

Remember in 2008, not that long ago, we elected and reelected Barack Obama, an African American, to be President , an event that was unimaginable before that in my lifetime. That was us also, we can and will do better I believe.

Curiousity

Curiosity killed the cat, they say, and satisfaction brought it back.

I don’t believe that and neither should you.

Curiosity keeps us alive and aware, can prevent us from making bad decisions.

And can help us to make discoveries that give meaning to our lives and growth in our days.

If we just blindly accept what is presented to us uncritically, we risk being lead astray. Especially with the speed of the internet, the abundance of information available, and the tendency of people to accept biased information.  We must be aware and check multiple sources to validate what we consume intellectually and before we act on that information.

This was demonstrated in the lead-up to the Iraq War, when the rush to decision and deadly action was void of any sense of curiosity and careful review. Biases ruled, consequences ignored, and we look back now in sad review at what lead us in to a disastrous series of overseas actions that still reverberate today. And it was driven from the top, when an incredibly uncurious President was led astray by warmongering aides with an appeal to ‘be tough” no matter what. And many people followed along without a skeptical thought.  Remember the “mushroom cloud” warning ? And how it proved to be totally without merit?

But it can affect us in our everyday lives. Remember “chain letters”? That has been superceeded by the internet versions – FB, twitter, and other social media can feed rumor trails and viral internet can be as dangerous and medical viruses.

But curiosity and an open mind aren’t just for warding off harmful influences.

It is also vital to growth. We learn through being curious and having a thirst for discovering new things. I enjoy seeing and hearing new sights and sounds of nature. Today was one example. I often hear woodpeckers high in the trees, but rarely see them. But today I had both and I got the video to share. I would neither have seen nor heard this bird if my ears and eyes were not open.

Be sure to take some time to pay attention to the beauty all around you. You never know what you might encounter.

One world

Once we work through Maslow's hierarchy of needs (see last week's post) and meet those essential needs for ourselves, there is another set of essentials. That is realizing that there are others who have those same needs, and we have the responsibility to help them to meet their needs, no matter who they are or where they are from. For you see, as the English poet John Donne so elegantly put it "no man is an island entire of himself, we are all part of the whole...each man's death diminishes me....send forth not for who the bell tolls, it tolls for thee"

We need to realize that we are all part of a neighborhood, a city, a state, a country, and the world. We all share this planet, with its plants and animals, its environment, its people. We are part of  global community. And as we learned in kindergarten we are supposed to share it. The effects of war, climate changes, disease, and economic uncertainty ultimately know no boundaries. As we have seen with the corona virus it started in one country, but has spread around the world. The Great Depression of our parents and grandparents was global. The great volcanic eruptions, like Krakatoa in the 1800's and Mt Saint Helens in 1980 sent ash around the world.

 The conflagration of war in the 20th century were called World Wars because they were global, affected the whole planet, and reshaped the world as we know it, changing boundaries,, economies, and alliances. Even the smaller wars of later years have caused massive refugee movements, economic disaster, and social upheaval.

So how does this affect you? What can you do? First if you see someone who is in need, reach out to help however you can. Organize with others to provide help. Listen to the cries for help and at least acknowledge that we have work to do. Sometimes it is just a listening ear that people need. Don't isolate - we may need to be physically distant, but let's not wall off our hearts.

Remember, for us to grow and prosper it is essential that we acknowledge that we are one world.
the world doesn't revolve around us, and we can't wall it off from us, it includes us.

Maslow's Heirarchy

 Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist of the 20th century who focused on humanistic psychology - what distinguishes humans from animals, and what how meeting needs contributes to human motivation. He developed a hierarchy of needs - the identification of human needs and that the most basic needs must be met for people to attain high goals and needs. He identified 5 levels -physiological, safety,, love, esteem, and self-actualization.

Physiological needs are things like food, water, shelter,, health. These are basic survival needs. Unless and until those are met your mind will focus on them and not be able to seek to fulfill other needs. Just like a drowning person will often unconsciously drag a potential rescuer under is their need to push their head above water, so a person who is starving won't listen to appeals of reason no matter how persuasive.

Once those basic needs are met safety and security needs are in focus. This involves not only physically safety - shelter, job security, and a safe environment - but also emotional and mental safety. Freedom from abuse and financial security. Safety at home, and freedom from fear out in public. And personal health , free from fear of disease and accidents

The third level of needs is social belonging. This includes friendships, intimacy, and family. Everybody needs to have connections and feeling like they are part of something bigger than just themselves. And acceptance from others.

The fouth level of needs is self- esteem and self- respect. It involves both internal valuing of ourselves and the need for recognition and respect from others. Someone who does not value themselves will have a harder time valuing others. Being confident in ourselves makes it easier to have confidence to participate with others. And it is easier to be confidence in ourselves if we are getting recognition and encouragement from others.

The final level is called self-actualization. The realization of one's full potential. To go beyond the basic needs and aim to develop all your strengths and desires. To make a mark and society, and to be free to pursue excellence.

It is not always a straight line and sometimes  needs in one level may outweigh the needs in another.
But the basic idea is that often people may feel or be frustrated in seeking to develop skills or reach goals because they are not having basic needs met. People may wonder why their friends or coworkers are not listening to reason or thinking ahead about consequences of actions, without realizing that they are not ready to hear due to more basic needs unmet.

It is important for us to think about this for ourselves and others. If we feel that we are not progressing and meeting goals, examine ourselves to see if we have unmet needs. And we need to help others meet their basic needs before we try to persuade them to accept our point of view, no matter how important it seems to  us.

In out society today, with all the varying and oftentimes intense and stressful situations, think about fear. Fear is often a sure sign of unmet needs. We can't always meet needs, but at least we can understand the often unseen motivation. It is essential

                                                                

what is essential?

What is essential? That has been a big debate during this corona virus time. What businesses and activities are essential and what are not. For those in leadership having responsibility of making policy decisions on the city, state, and federal levels. For those giving feedback on those decisions.
Making decisions about how we "open back up" and recover a more normal operation of society involves public safety and safe economic activity upon which we all depend.  We cannot isolate forever - for many reasons.

And while the policy makers, health care experts,  and economic planners have their roles to play we all have the responsibility too. From giving feedback on the subject to planners, as necessary public input, to our own planning in the upcoming interaction in society. And it provides us an opportunity to examine our own situations, priorities, and plans for what is essential to us. What can we live with, what we can live without, and why? What are our priorities.

How do we go about determining what is essential and what is not? I think we need to drill down to the basics. And I want to take some time and share some thoughts and resources to help us all make those decisions. In college (or perhaps in high school) I learned about Abraham Maslow, an American pschologist, who in 1943 developed a theory proposing a hierarchy of needs. It explained 5 different levels of human needs and how until we have the most basic needs met we can't attempt to pursue the higher levels. In practical terms if we are lacking basic necessities - water, food, shelter - we are operating on a purely survival level, and the needs of anyone else are out of our caring capability.

In my next post I want to explore that and share how that works. For now please google Maslow and read about his hierarchy. Knowing the pathway of needs will help us all determine what is essential and what is not.  The first step is safety - please be safe everyone.

Perspective

Is the glass half empty or is it half full? It depends on your perspective.
Is rain dreary, or invigorating, or just there? It also depends on your perspective.
Are you trapped at  home during the "shelter in place" restrictions, or are you "safe" at home
protecting yourself and others from illness? in depends on your perspective.

It also depends on your personality and your principles. If you are an extrovert you are probably going crazy not being able to go to all the places you normally want to go. Why? Because you draw your energy from people and parties, and this current situation leaves you frustrated and physically drained. If you are an introvert like me you are probably enjoying the peace and quiet and less of the hustle and bustle, since you recharge in silence and calm.

It also depends on your principles and beliefs. If you tend to be skeptical of "official" sources and rely on "word of mouth" sources you might think that the danger is not as bad as people think. And if you think it is over-hyped you may struggle against the restrictions. If you believe that the danger is real and trust experts you be more likely to "wait it out" and give the restrictions the benefit of the doubt.

Many people can view the exact set of circumstances and situations and come to very different conclusions. At the same time we all need to be careful in our actions. Taking care of ourselves and others is important no matter our conclusions. Helping struggling and hurting people, and allaying fear is never wrong.  And we must always remember that any of us can be wrong, and be prepared to admit it.

For me, I tend to emphasize exercising an abundance of caution, and being an introvert, am content to wait it out. There are plenty of things I can do from the comfort of my home.
I am a rain lover, so I walk in the rain, get invigorated by it, and love the windy, rainy, coolness of the local rain climate. I spent enough time in the blazing desert heat of Phoenix  I will never get waterlogged, no matter how long it rains.

And as for the water glass question I take the middle ground. Forget debating the existential notions and just drink the water.

What's your plan?

What's your plan? This is the question of the day. For Mayors and Governors, wanting to open up their cities and states to more economic activity. For businesses large and small wanting to avoid further loss of income and business. It is the question for sports and recreation to answer for healthy activity.  It is also a question for all of us.

All of us will have to decide when and how, and how much we venture out of our houses, into the neighborhoods and businesses around us. We need to decide what is important for us, what we need to do again, how much risk is acceptable, and what we really want to do.

And beyond that, we need to spend some of this quarantine time thinking of where we want to be beyond the challenge of coming out of quarantine.We need to ponder what this time has taught us about what really is important and spend more of our time doing those things, pursuing those goals instead of just working to get by.

When freed from the visible restrictions think about the invisible restrictions that hold us back.
The expectations of others, the doubts, the messages of youth about what we should or shouldn't do.
And plan to tackle those barriers. Just like we need a plan to come back out of isolation we need a plan to not just get back to what was before, but to go beyond that to a better, more fulfilled us.

Don't wait around for others to plan, make sure you have a plan to go out and beyond. So....what's your plan?

The Beauty around that will help us get through

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the saying goes. But the problem is we tend not to look.
And in the days of the corona, and the constant reminders on the news of the bad - through the constant drumbeat of stat after deadly stat - we need reminders of the ever- present beauty all around.
I was reminded of this while trimming down my cache of photos, in prep for a new laptop.

One of my favorite flowers is foxglove, with its self -seeding habit and its tall rows of painted flowers.
The O poppy starts out like a creature from outer space, but then bursts out with brilliant color 
And the green growth comes in different variations



often with other colors mixed in. Please take time today to look around you and see the beauty that is there. Take a literal "breather" from the chaos. It will do you a lot of good and help us get through.

connections

Have you ever experienced a time where you wanted to toss your computer out the window?
You got so frustrated with the resistance you were getting while just trying to do your job, or
seek information, or just connect with someone. And you found that the "HELP" section was "helpless"? Despite our high tech society there seems to be so many places where interruption of service happens. And whether it is your home internet connection, your computer or laptop, your work connections, you can get cut off in an instant. And it usually happens with no warning, and
worse - when it comes back on you often don't know why.

And the worst thing is, when you try to get help reconnecting,  nobody knows how, or takes responsibility for the problem. It's always - "it's not our system , we're fine. It must be yours"
To be sure connection issues can be complex, and computers do have personality and gremlins.
But it seems many times people want to wash their hands of it, blame it on someone else, or just give up when it's not them that is having problems.

Those are the times I remember how I love to garden. Things stay where I plant them And most often they grow and flourish if I make the simple effort of giving them good earth, enough sunlight and water, and simply dig in the dirt.  i can wrap my hands around the process and plants and I can get answers when I need by simply asking fellow gardeners, who are always ready and willing to help.

It's not perfect, like my current crop of bulbs which are resisting growth. And I am limited on space
But I am in control of the process and it is therapeutic having hands on experience,

It is that way with communication. It isn't complicated. Even in these days of self-quarantine we can still reach out and communicate It's not in person very much, except for those we share living space with. But we are in control of the process. When miscommunication happens we have the ability to make it right, ask what happened, take the time to mend fences, and we benefit from the shared pleasure of touching base with another human soul. If we notice that we have not heard from someone in a while we can call, email, text, even write to catch up, And it can happen across thousands of miles, or just next door

And maybe that is a positive to the downside of physical distancing. We have the time to reach across the distance to if nothing else commiserate in our mutual "isolation" Take the time to walk away from the technology and reach out in real conversations.

Bird Houses for the Vulnerable

There are two of the bird houses from the forest trail behind our local library. There are over a dozen and I have walked by them often during the time we have live here. I have enjoyed them and the birds that live in the forest nearby. But today I looked at them differently - the openings are not the same size. Not all of the birds that live here could use them. Most of them have holes the size of the one on the right- too small a hole for the jays and crows and other medium sized creatures of the air. They are the size that would accommodate quail and chickadees and finches  the more vulnerable.  And I believe they were built and set in place for that reason. To help those more vulnerable,

As it is in nature, so should it be among human kind. Not everyone can be like the woodpecker who can hammer out their home. Or the majestic geese who can soar away, or the owls who hunt by night.

The small are at the mercy of the large, just like those who were not born into money, fame, or position are much more vulnerable when the storm and earthquakes come, or the virus hits and the economy plunges.

So we cannot expect everyone to react to the struggles the same, nor need the same amount of help.
Just because we can work from home, order out groceries online, and don't have to venture out into the danger zones, doesn't mean that everybody has that advantage. We see everyday those who are on the front lines of vulnerability - whether they are first responders or just in "essential" jobs who can't just "shelter at home".

And in the recovery we have to make sure that those who struggle to survive have the protection of affordable healthcare, protection against both downturns and disasters. and a safe place to call home,

Try to remember to think outside your own "birdhouse"

the benefits of a quiet time

The benefits of social distancing - or as I like to phrase it - distance socialization.
We all chafe a bit at this 'sheltering at home" situation. Even introverts like me, who love peacefully curling up with a good book and not moving for hours, can get cabin fever. One thing that gets me through is my daily morning walks. I imagine there are extroverts out there that are tearing their hair out and bouncing off the walls, deprived of their energizing interactions with the crowd.

We know that it is for our own good, and that it will pass - eventually. But all too often we focus on what we can't do and miss the things we can do. We have the time to slow down and ponder, meditate, and maybe do more careful examination of and planning for our lives. We have quiet to hear ourselves think. In the midst of not running around gathering things we can think about what we really need. As some have said, don't automatically rush back to what and where you were before.
Maybe we can leave some of that "baggage" behind.

In the midst of lack, be grateful for what we do have and realize that we may not need all that we think we do. Minimalism is not a bad thing. In the absence of the crowds, be grateful to the ones we have and hold close.

And we do have the ability to connect with others. We all have phones and their not just for setting appointments and meetings, etc. They can be a lifeline to friends and family. This is a 'round to it" moment, taking advantage of the time to connect. And our social media is another way to connect.

Those of us who are in the Toastmaster World have made the transition from in person meetings to conducting our club meetings online and keep up communications with lots of laughter as we struggle with the technical connection issues. And we even conducted speech contests online.
Zoom is now my friend. And we have been able to make contacts across the country and around the world. We had recent visitors from India and South Korea, who like us in the US are dealing with sheltering at home.

Please use this time to contemplate and grow, spend some time on making an impact on those people and tasks you have near. And don't be too eager to rush back to your "former" life. The world will still be there, no hurry.

#Chalk the Walk

In these days of social distancing, let us not forget to do some distance socialization. This is a time for physical isolation, yes, but not social isolation. While we can't assemble in groups physically, we can
still - and must - keep on gathering across the miles to maintain communication. And we can communicate messages of hope in many different and unique ways.

In daily walks around my neighborhood I have seen signs of hope. Post-It Notes on street signs and lightposts that say "Flatten the curve", and "you are not alone". School neon signs that say "we miss you" and "stay safe".  Even when the post-its fade (sun, rain) just seeing them reminds us of the important message and we give thanks to the ones who put them there. A "Mukilteo Strong" on top of an electrical junction box today reminded me of the spirit of our community - plus the waves of runners and dog-walkers as we greet each other from across the street, maintaining our "social distance"

One unique thing recently has been chalked messages on sidewalks. I think it started about Easter time, since some of the first messages were "Easter Sunday" and "He is Risen". But there were other messages, like "Happy Birthday" and "thanks___". And then there was the stretch of sidewalk around the local library sign that was labeled #chalk the walk. A whole stretch of sidewalk was covered in chalk messages of hope and encouragement, with a piece of chalk placed where anyone could pick it up and add to the "message board".

Today in the pouring rain the chalk drawings had faded, but I believe that when the sun returns and the walk dries off , the "chalking" will resume. In the midst of our often lonely silent endurance of "sheltering at home" there are signs everywhere of the hope to come. One day we will emerge into the light of day where we will not fear to embrace each other and life. Hold on , and chalk the walk

Words of wisdom

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. We grew up with that mantra, a saying we throw back to name callers. But we grew up to find out that it wasn't true. Names can break hearts, as one singer put it, and other ill chosen words can do great damage.

For this and other reasons we must choose our words carefully, especially in a time of stress like now.
We tend to make three mistakes in our use of words. One is the use of hyperbole - instead of a good player we say they are the best ever, instead of saying someone is bad, we say they are evil. Our descriptions of events and people and causes go beyond reality to extremes - leaving no room for accurate descriptions for real extremes.

Another way we misuse words is similar. We tag so much as priority that we are torn between the things we really needed to do. We encounter this at work often. If everything is priority, then nothing is priority. We need to use our words carefully to focus our efforts on the things that really matter the most.

And the third way we misuse words is throwing out strong words carelessly. Such things as gunpowder words- words that are often used just for shock value. Some are obviously extreme, some are dug up and tossed , like a hand grenade in the middle of a crowd, verbally very dangerous. Some are not even matching the situation. People take a word that they know would get a strong negative reaction and use it to amp up the opposition to something they personally don't like.

Two examples stand out recently. Many who have opposed the common sense "shelter in place" regulations to safeguard public health have used the word "draconian" to describe those regulations.
Public health is important for all, yet those who want to go about their lives without restrictions harm us all. The regulations are not draconian, but really common sense. Especially as shown by a recent religious leader of a church who strongly pushed for large public gatherings, who shortly thereafter contracted the virus and died less than 2 weeks after his bombastic outburst

Another example involves the controversy around a touted "cure" for the virus - a medicine that had been pushed by some in the absence of a vaccine. Many in the medical field have countered the push because of legitimate concerns about side effects of it. And while there is room for discussion and debate over the merits of medical help. But there have been some who have gone ballistic over the criticism of this "cure" and called the efforts to oppose it as a "jihad". Not only is the a failure to fully understand the 2 different applications of the word - personal and political - it also uses it way out of context. And also using it just for shock effect to get people to oppose the effort to realistically handle the remedies for the virus.

So, in the time of stress and worry, etc, let us watch the words we use. Let us be realistic - and kind.
Words of comfort and encouragement, and wisdom will help us all come through it better.

I saw the Easter Bunny this morning - in fact there were 2 of them.:) I even got a picture of them.No , they weren't laying out Easter eggs....seriously, they were just wild rabbits. Just a sample of nature's creatures went on my usual morning walk. I also saw a woodpecker -actually saw him hammering away, not just hearing him "knocking on wood" from a far off tree. I recorded a video of him, with the croaking of frogs in the background. I was scolded by a squirrel for getting too close to "his" tree.  There was a flyover by the local ducks and geese, plus the usual chatter of the robins and crows.

There were a few joggers and dog walkers about , but we kept our proper 6ft distancing , waving and saying hello from across the street. Other than that it was a quiet reflective morning. Good exercise and opportunity to reflect. In this worrying time, where we are so conscious of what we can't do, it is important to remember and cherish the things we can do.

We can visit with friends, just have to do it online, or over the phone. We can share love with each other - acts of kindness don't necessarily have to be in person. We can encourage each other, listen to tales of struggle with empathy, and share messages of hope. We can laugh, cry, sing with each other and help pull each other through. Social distancing should be renamed remote socialization. Let's not be isolated.

And we don't have to be isolated from the hand of God in nature around us You know, God's creation is not just about man. I believe He cares about all of the living creatures around us. Let us not be blind to that on this Easter Sunday. And we don't need to be in a building packed all together to worship. We can also do that out in the world of nature among the other creatures he made.

Happy Easter everyone:)

Privilege

Are you privileged?  As you look around you and think about your situation you might think "no".In this time of "pausing" from our normal life we have some time the contemplate just who we are and what we have. And we may just discover that we really are privileged. No, not to the point where we could, as someone just did, throw down over $900,000.00 for Paul McCartney's scrawled lyrics for "Hey Jude". But for a lot of us the basic necessities of life were not put in jeopardy by the corona virus.

In comparison to most of the world we are fortunate. We have a reliable, safe place in which to eat, sleep, and "shelter". We have reliable sources of food - and if we are nervous about going food shopping we can order in, have our groceries delivered to our homes and all we have to do is make sure the groceries get delivered to the right place, hands free.

Many of us have jobs that allow us to work at home, so as to avoid physical contact with coworkers in the office or commuters on the bus. For most of the past 20 years I worked from home at least part of my workweek. My adjustment for the virus was that I went from 3 days to the full week at home.
My job is in the "essential" status, Medicaid insurance, where the digital rules and business is expected to substantially increase. Especially when more people face unemployment and the loss of their work sponsored healthcare. And we live in a safe community with police, fire, and medical help is nearby. I even have a safe, uncrowded place to walk and commune with nature to safeguard my sanity. And with my dear wife of over 25 years I am not alone.

But not everyone has that. Many work in industries, like manufacturing for example, where even if the company was open to remote work, the nature of the work prevents that. Many work in areas like retail, food service, and small business where not only is the work unable to be done at home, the jobs are not considered essential and businesses are closed and many unemployed. Think about job hunting in a social distancing world.

And still many are cut off from the digital world, so even keeping in touch with others are limited.And many are alone, truly isolated.And that is just here in the US. In the global arena it is even worse.

I say this not to make anyone feel guilty. I don't feel bad for having the advantages I do. But it is important first of all to put it in perspective. It could be much worse - which isn't always comforting, but it is important to remember - even in normal times. I say it to remind us to be grateful everyday, in good times and bad. And to remember everyday that there are many out there who do not have those same privileges. Who instead have vulnerabilities and strong challenges.

Remember those who are the front lines of "battle" with the virus , fighting for peoples lives.The doctors, the nurses, the firefighters and police, who don't have the option of "sheltering".Remember those who are in essential jobs who must go out, and who can't maintain the "6-foot"
rule, who are daily exposed and still go out.

From your position of privilege try to reach out to help in any way you can. Donate if you can to agencies providing help and supplies. Reach out to anyone you know who is alone - I know they would appreciate love in words. And when you do venture out a wave or a smile can travel beyond 6 feet. It is small, but I know it lifts my spirits when I walk.

Not guilt, but gratitude is my aim. And I am grateful I can write and share to do my small part to encourage us to press on through these challenging days, hopeful to see the light at the end of this particular tunnel. We had days and years before the virus came - we will have days and years after it passes on. And it will. But gratitude should survive and prosper.

adaptation in the time of corona virus

The only thing constant is change, we are told. And in the time of corona virus, that is certainly true.
We are sheltering in place, working from home, or if we go out it is with gloves and  masks on. We learn new ditties to hum while we are washing out hands.  Like "not touching something with a 10 foot pole," we say hello to anyone from 6 feet away. We know the terms "social distancing", "self isolating" , "flatten the curve", and "ventilators".  We avoid gatherings of 10 or more, and connect in the virtual world of Zoom.

Some people are afraid of change, resistant to it, and feel their world is falling apart. They mistake personal physical isolation for relational isolation. But the relationships can continue and must keep up, just adjusted for a change of method. We can and should still continue to maintain those friendships across the miles and the digital divide by email, phone call, text, other forms of social media. Just because we can't physically be together doesn't mean we have to wall ourselves apart.

And in the midst of dealing with communication in new and different ways we can discover new things in the world. Since the Toastmaster world has turned to digital to maintain relationships we have learned about not just how we can maintain our clubs, but also new connections and new possibilities for enhancing our communications. We can share visually and audibly with people hundreds and thousands of miles away. In recent meetings and contests I have been a part of we have connected with folks across the country and around the world , South Korea and India to name a couple examples.

I am doing a contest in a couple weeks where I have recruited people who might have previously had to consider travel to come to the contest site, but now only have to turn on their computer from home to be a part. Recruiting help is easier. And we can involve other districts in the judging and add to the diversity of evaluations. We had as a club a member who came down with the virus and would have not been able to join us for a meeting if not for our new Zoom set up.

People have experimented with virtual backgrounds, presentations without having to lug a laptop and projector to meetings, and even write "notes" (in chat) of evaluation without worrying about legibility (mine especialy).
I guess what I am driving at is rather than focusing on what we don't have, on the complications.
We should focus on treasuring what we have, and what opportunities for growth that are there.
There are so many things we still can do, and places we can go. Today for me it was a "two-bunny walk"...more about that later.

Are you going stir crazy? Or feeling some cabin fever coming on? You might just be an extrovert.
During this time of "sheltering in place at home" a lot of people may be feeling a serious lack of energy, not because of the virus, but because they are cut off from their usual source of energy - people, especially crowds which help them thrive. For us introverts silence and calm can help us recharge and think and we feed off of it, but to an extrovert silence is a drain.  So it is essential to flip the usual "social distancing" and emphasize "distant socialization", be sure to reach out to others and make the connections even when those connections are from a distance - phone, text, email, online video. Those are safe ways to communicate and make sure we are not isolated , even when we are.

Even for introvert, who love the silence and calmness, too much of a good thing can be bad.
We need people. I make a point of getting out of the house for daily walks.. My usual companions are the local ducks, geese, crows, robins, the occasional squirrel and wild bunnies. Aside from my constant companion, my best friend, my wife, I don't really see much besides runners and dog walkers. But I have another source of communication - my Toastmasters club.  We hold our club meetings online through Zoom.

And we are not alone. Toastmasters International has strongly encouraged clubs around the country and around the world to not hold in person meetings, but meet online. We are having speech contests online, and we will hold our Spring Conference online, quite an undertaking. We have embraced the technology and have developed new skills. These present numerous opportunities for safe social interactions. We have fun, much laughter, and community building as we come together.
It is vital for both introverts and extroverts to keep socializing till we are again able to add physical interactions.

Mix of values - moral and practical

Values aren't limited to moral choices, they also involve practicality, strategy, how best to do what we do everyday.  It's like a river and it's banks. The river flows and we make sure that it is not impeded or blocked and it can create power - hydroelectric power is clean and abundant But we also use dams not just for energy creation but also for flood control. If a river overruns its banks you have flooding which helps no one. We have to have the free flowing with the guiding of the banks for the best result.
In the same way we need the practical values, efficiency and such, along with the control of the moral values that keep us from "flooding" so to speak. A recent presidential candidate exemplified this by listing a set of values that he chose for his campaign - called the "rules of the road". Values that he lived by and wanted his supporters and volunteers to follow. They were a mix of the practical and moral.
The practical ones I see as: Teamwork, Boldness, Substance, Discipline, Excellence.
The more moral values I see as : Respect, Belonging, Truth, Responsibility, Joy.
These are intertwined and support each other, and both are necessary for life.
Think about how you view life and what values are important to you.

You are not alone

Respect, Integrity, Service, Excellence...what are these? They are the core values of Toastmasters, a decades old organization that I am proud to be a part of. These values help our mission of helping people grow in their speaking and leadership skills, by ensuring each meeting is a safe place where people can speak up, share their dreams and their struggles and continue to grow. In the midst of this current crisis clubs have adapted to the technology of distance socializing and continue strong with clubs and contests and in May the Spring conference, all held online. Our bond is greater than our technological struggles and these core values are key - RISE!

Stories and laughter, support and hope, are our shared experience.
I would invite you to check out TM , go to the International site to find a club near you.
https://www.toastmasters.org/
But whatever you do, remember to hold fast to your values and don't despair, you are not alone

music to make it through these days

Music makes everything better, it seems. When I ran it gave me energy and helped me keep running.
When I work it keeps me company. When I am sad it gives me hope. And when I am happy it helps me celebrate. Out of the blue songs will come into my mind with memories. Sometimes the most annoying songs get stuck in my brain (like the Disneyland theme :( )

But in these days of the virus it can help us cope. There have been several tunes/ditties that have been suggested to time handwashing.  The people of Italy are singing to each other across the alleys when they couldn't go out in public. And the other day when I went shopping at a local fruit market I was greeted with Alice Cooper's "School's Out for Summer" and left to the strains of "The Sounds of Silence" (Seattle silence).

Music touches the soul, and is often a reflection of it. It also serves to speak for us, and to us, when we can't seem to speak the words. It can calm us, energize us, give us hope. We will get through this awful time and music can lead the way. Don't forget to sing, let it envelope you.

Corona Days

These are the days of the corona virus, aka Covid-19, and we are all sheltering in place, practicing the 6 ft rule, working from home. And for those of us in the Toastmaster world, we are adapting to having our meetings, and our contests online. It is a whole lot of adaptation, but like the rest of our lives we are learning to go with the flow, and I hope coming to appreciate the little things in life more.

I am encouraged to see people reaching out to each other to help in our various struggles, seeing more caring, and the focusing of energy to help and not to hurt. My hope is that it brings us together more as a nation and as a world. The virus knows no boundaries, and neither should our love and compassion for those who are suffering.  A lot of things are in cosmic shift, very messy, but it the days and weeks to come I hope to share tips and reflections - doing my part to help us get through this , to help give hope for the future, and to help us learn.
Stay strong, keep safe, and continue to dream and work for a better world
Thanks
Bob (aka Chytha)