Use your thinking cap

 When you read or listen to news do you have your thinking cap on? Or are you accept unquestioningly whatever comes to you by ear or eye? I fear for most it is the latter. It's not that people are purposefully deceptive or incompetent - though some are. But communication is a two part process. Those who listen or read must carefully evaluate what is being said or written so that true education is taking place.

Let me give you an example. Recently Fox News reported that a poll they had conducted on immigration showed that 46% of respondents believed that border security was worse now under Biden than under Trump. On the surface this is not good news. However there are serious issues with the news, and the source of the poll is not the major problem.

For one thing this is an opinion poll, not a research paper. It is subjective, not objective. Likely most of the respondents do not live in border states, let alone not in border communities. They have at best second or third hand information on border conditions. Any poll is just a snapshot of people's opinion on situations not an ongoing study of conditions. 

Also, the accuracy of polls is dependent on many factors, such as the way questions are asked, how the respondents are reached, what is the sample size, etc. It also is dependent on the purpose of the poll -what is it being used for? Unconscious bias can creep into any poll, even among the best of pollsters. And how specific are the questions - security worse - how so? Does not sound like a question that comes with a grade scale.

If one is really interested in the immigration/border situation it would be more helpful to communicate with those who handle those issues - border patrol, local border community leadership, immigration lawyers and courts, etc. Those who have the facts, not just opinion. To me it is very important for folks to understand not only what is going on, but the framework of the current immigration system. You might be surprised.

And, as always, ask questions to check the validity of information, don't just swallow it whole. As Joe Friday used to say "just the facts, ma'am"

Book love

 Do you remember some of those odd job interview questions? The behavioral questions, non- traditional ones that are aimed at revealing your personality and how you would fit into their team? I have a curious mind and would like to ask you one of those for feedback purposes. I find it fascinating what people read, because I tend to read most anything, and often work my way through multiple books at once, at various rates of speed and duration. I read to discover, to grow, to challenge myself, to relax and entertain.

So, what was the last book you read and what did you learn from it? It can be any type, any genre, fiction or non-fiction, new or older. A brief response, whether it appealed on the gut level or blowing mind level.

I am wondering if people have been reading these and trying unsuccessfully to post comments. I am curious and this is one way to test the notion. If you try to post a reply and are unable to, could you do me a favor and let me know? I would like to see if it is a trend, one that I will endeavor to fix. Please comment on the Facebook post I will link this to.   That way either I will see your post on the blog or on Facebook. 

I would like this to be a conversation.

Thanks:)

Bob

Assumptions and expectations

Expectations and assumptions go together and both can lead to trouble. Part of the problem is that we all come from different experiences and patterns of behavioral upbringing and we often fail to take that into account. We see our experiences as normative and everything else as out of the norm. It can be as simple as reading a set of rules and what do you do with things that are not spelled out. Kind of like the glass half full/glass half empty. Some will say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can do something, you can't. While others , myself included, say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can't do something , means you can.  

We make assumptions based on our own experience - everyone should know what we know, everyone should have the same reactions we do. But everyone comes from their own experiences and may react differently. I have to watch myself on that at times. 

At a recent Toastmaster contest there was new person serving as toastmaster, basically the emcee of the event. Prior to the event there are briefings for all the participants. The judges, ballot counters, and the timers are briefed by the chief judge, and the contestants are briefed by the toastmaster. The reason is the toastmaster is the one who introduces the contestants when they speak and interviews them after they all speak, so it makes sense for the toastmaster to brief them on the rules and procedures of the contest. The problem  in this contest was that our toastmaster was a relative newbie to contests and he made the assumption that I, as chief judge, would be briefing everyone. 

Fortunately we discovered this in the dry run (practice) for the contest and not at the event itself. But often in life we make assumptions or have expectations in situations that end badly. It is wise to be open to others experiences and not prejudge the situation. 

There is one case where I believe we should use assumptions and expectations - in a very positive way. I believe, as my mother taught me, that we should expect the best of everyone. Not demanding the best, but be expecting the best from everyone. Not prejudge someone before they have had a chance to make that first impression. And as I have heard from others - assume positive intent. Assume that someone means well and has no negative intent by their words or their actions. They may not turn out that way but we should go into every interaction with that mindset. 

Drinking horses

 "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". We all know the saying. Despite our best efforts to change something or someone, there are still things out of our control. We can't guarantee success. It can be said with resignation - I did all I could do:(...But sometimes we use it as an excuse for lack of effort. I think we need to rethink common sayings like this and we might just find some insight that will guide us to success.

One thing to ask ourselves "did we lead that horse to water?". Or did we just assume he wouldn't drink so we didn't bother. Visibility and awareness can be assumed, but not realized. It is not only the proximity of the horse to water that is important, but also - is the horse thirsty? If they aren't they won't drink. So maybe we need to make sure when we are leading the horse to that water that they are thirsty. And we can help that along if we put a salt lick by the trough - encourage thirst.

If we think about it we might ask - 'what does the horse want?'. Maybe they are hungry and need grain not water. Maybe they are tired and need a rest Maybe they are bored and feel like running. All of those things might discourage them from drinking the water. It might not be (as we tend to think) that they are stubborn. 

So when you are frustrated because you aren't getting the outcome you want for your efforts, do a deeper dive into the situation, question your assumptions and gain a new perspective on the problem. You might find a way around the blockage.

Opportunity knocks- are you listening?

We are all familiar with needing to be prepared for unexpected bad things happening. Earthquakes, hurricanes, fires, weather related flooding, etc. We make up emergency kits, have plans of who to call and where to go. And in cases of personal emergencies, weather health related or otherwise, we make plans.

But what about the unexpected good? Are we prepared to take advantage of good fortune- especially opportunities for us to expand our horizons and try new things? There is a chance we may miss out on those opportunities if aren't prepared. How do we prepare? I have a 5-point plan.

One, we must know ourselves and our capacity to take advantage of opportunities. How much time and energy do we have at our disposal. How much give room do we have in our schedules? Could we realistically take on a new project? Two, what kind of skills and experience do we have to tackle a project.

Three, what is our comfort level and how much do we want to stretch? For instance, if I were offered the opportunity to take a trip to New Zealand, as long as the funds were there I would have no hesitation. However if I were offered, at no cost to me, a chance to skydive, I would refuse. No amount of money would induce me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. I get my thrills in more sedate ways, though I have friends who would and have 'jumped' at the chance. We all have our own comfort zones.

Closely related to that is 'what do you want to do?" We have our different interests, passions, dreams. Things that appeal to me might not appeal to you. We have to know ourselves in advance so when the opportunities arise we can decide quickly whether or not it is for us. Many things that come our way have no appeal.

And finally we have to remain aware of sources where we might find opportunity. If we know what we are looking for we can direct our attention to those sources. One of my regular activities is Toastmasters and outside of my local club there often come up opportunities to speak in clubs around the country and the world. I have seen many lately and determined that I should make sure I am ready to take advantage of those. 

When opportunity knocks make sure you are ready. Surprises can be positive, you know.

Goodbye to superheroes

 There are times in our lives that we need to get away, physically and mentally, sometimes emotionally, from the stress of everyday life. We use many means to do this, two of my favorites are books and movies. To delve into another world allows me to take a breather and reset. Some people do that to excess and it can be detrimental, not only to themselves but to others. 

I do not begrudge anyone their escape, and realize that different people have different tastes, and may be in a different phase in their lives. I have gone through phase changes in life and left a lot of things behind as well as adopted different attitudes. One of the most recent was on superheroes in general, and one in particular. Captain America.

Captain America is sort of a quasi -superhero. Yes, he got injected with a serum that vastly increased his strength and confidence, plus adding a very powerful weapon to his arsenal (his shield), but he wasn't in Superman or Hulk category. I read comics as a kid and enjoyed superhero movies. But something dawned on me when I watched his origin movie. I was troubled by it.

My ancestral history has something to do with it. My great-grandfather (mom's side) fought with the Union Army in the Civil War, including service with the Vermont 14th Brigade at Gettysburg, on Cemetery Ridge resisting the last Confederate charge. My grandfather (father's side) served with the AEF (American Expeditionary Force) in Europe during WWI. And my uncle (mom's brother) died preparing pilots to fly in WWII. So I am very conscious of the service and sacrifices that millions of Americans and other nations made to defend freedom - ours and others. 

With that in mind the notion that the Captain America film portrayed of a hero coming in to save the day and repulse our enemies seemed ludicrous and even slightly offensive. We didn't have a superhero and yet we won the day, repulsed and defeated the enemy. There were ordinary people who stepped up and did the hard, dangerous, death defying job - many who could have easily avoided it. They were the heroes.

I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, nor cast aspersions on what someone may enjoy. But for me, I am done with superheroes. No need for waiting for the few fantastical creatures to save the day. it is for us ordinary folks to be willing to step up, be willing to roll up our sleeves and work. To stand for what is right, to defend the vulnerable, to oppose the wrong and those who do wrong. To speak for the speechless and encourage the disheartened. And it is for us to celebrate the real heroes who, though ordinary did extraordinary deeds. 

Live in the present

 I believe in time travel, because we do it all the time. We live in the past or in the future, whether it be better or worse. Oftentimes we live in the past, dwelling on and regretting past failures and  missed opportunities, or celebrating and resting on past laurels of victories and happy memories. Or we live in the future, either dreading future deadlines or anticipated disasters, or looking forward eagerly to happier times and gatherings especially if desired to escape current or past woes.

But as we are jetting off to the future or dwelling on the past, reality is present and we need to live here. We cannot change the past -except to use it for lessons to apply today. And we have no control over the future - except to plan ahead for better outcomes tomorrow. And if we are not living in the present we may fail to appreciate the good things that are here today. We are only guaranteed today and it is a special gift.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and realized that they were not with you? Their eyes had that glazed over appearance. You have a time traveler on your hands. You may feel like saying "can you hear me now?" or "are you with me" We all have times when we are like that. Let that be a reminder to you, when you are here, be here. Look them in the eye, listen to the words they say, ask questions to show that you hear them. 

Someone once said, The past is a cancelled check, the future is a promissory note, the present is cold hard cash. Spend it wisely.

Habits

 I walk every morning, rain or shine, at least 30 minutes, often more. I do it partly because it is good for me, both physically and psychologically, but mainly because I enjoy it. The best habits are like that. We often resist starting habits when they are suggested as 'good for us'. We may not outright reject them, because we acknowledge that the person recommending the habit means well, cares about us, and that they have a good point. But often we drag our feet because we are not drawn to start a habit even though we know we "should". The sense of obligation acts as a deterrent. We also feel that if we start something we have to continue. And we often plan a specific date to start - like New Year's Day - and then fall behind and quit.

It has been said that doing something for 30 days in a row establishes a habit. You don't have to start on a particular date, just start and keep it up for 30 days. By then it will be ingrained in your day and a day without it would be lacking. It is best if you can start habits because you like them, like my walking. But there are some habits that you can start doing because they are important and then find that you do enjoy them. Sometimes you just do things because they are important - like my daily blood glucose testing and food diary. 

My blogging has gone through stages. I started as a spotty thing - blogging when I had an inspiration and had some grand presentation. I would do a series over time and then lag. I did a series a couple years ago for a Toastmaster speech project which required me to do 8 posts over a month and then give a speech about the process. I did and then faded. It was too easy to miss and too hard to schedule an every other day post, or twice a week. So I decided that what I needed to do was just post daily. No waiting for inspiration, no long involved posts. Just doing something daily.

 I realized that I didn't have to share the post (FB, Linked In, twitter, etc) all the time. I could treat it like a diary and share on FB, etc, when I felt it was really good, or at least 2 or 3 times a week. And the day I began was April 3rd - not the 1st, not a specific date, but just when I decided to start posting. There have been a few days when it was late by the time I posted and sometimes I would wake up with an idea. I don't know how long it will last, but for now I am planning to continue, and I hope my sharing is beneficial - not only to me, but to a wide range of people. I would appreciate your comments on my posts. Thank you.

Celebrate Earth Day

 On Earth Day it is good to remember that we all share one home - one planet - we are a global community whether we like the concept or not. Climate and weather and all the ills and benefits of both do not respect national borders. And as the native tribal people recognized no one really owns the land. Neither you nor your ancestors have  always occupied the land you live on, nor will you or your descendants always occupy that land, and in truth you occupy it with a responsibility to preserve it for those who will come after and occupy it. We must remember the lesson of kindergarten - share. 

How do we do that? We need to raise our awareness level, to see both the beauty and the peril of our world. It doesn't take much, just "a walk in the park" and "stop and smell the roses along the way". On this Earth Day go out for a a walk, without a radio or music player. Listen to the wind, the rain, the birds. Look at the vibrant colors in nature around you. Smell the flowers, feel the wind blow. Immerse yourself in nature for a while. Take a bag along, and maybe some gloves, so that you when you see litter you can pick it up and desposit it where it belongs - in the trash. 

Take time to plant flowers or vegetables - it doesn't take much. I have just a balcony but I plan on planting some cherry tomatoes again this year, and maybe try some carrots and radishes as well. Nothing tastes as good as fresh veggies right out of the ground.:)   You may think you can't do much to help, but loads of people doing just a little, helps a lot.

On this Earth Day, and on every other day, celebrate life and our home.

choices

 Have you ever resorted to flipping a coin to make a decision? How about doing eeny, meeny, miny, moe? Or one potato, two potato? And when you got the result did you immediately go with the decision or did you think "let's try 2 out of 3"? Or are you more practical, listing pros and cons of each possible choice? Do you have a version of "buyer's remorse" - once you have made your decision do you regret it? Sometimes we have real trouble making up our mind, and sometimes it is for seemingly trivial matters.

I'm not saying that we should be flippant and impulsive in our decision making, but sometimes we treat things way too hard, so serious. Part of it is that we are afraid of making the wrong decision, with terrible consequences. We want to make the best decisions, which is laudable. But the truth is that we will often make wrong decisions just like everyone else 

As I look back on my life I can see where I made bad decisions or avoided making decisions and have often wondered how different things would have turned out if I had decided differently. My first year of college was a disaster. I partied too much and studied too little. I ended up with a 1.5 GPA in a 4.0 system.. I flunked Shakespeare - me, a fan of the bard who knew several passages by heart!:(   I, an incurable experimenter, failed to put together a project for chemistry lab, rarely showing up, and got a C in chemistry only because I did very well in class. As a result I ended up changing my major and giving up my dreams of studying abroad. 

For both my wife and I had similar experiences and yet because of the paths we took we ended up together and have been happily married for over 26 years. It was meant to be, even with the errors we both made in our decision making. So when you take a tumble making a decision, pick yourself back up and go again. Look at the bright side of it all and celebrate life - you might even make a rash decision or two, but still celebrate. And by the way, if you really took inventory of all your decisions you've probably made many more right than wrong.

Justice

 What is justice? Is it getting the right outcome in a trial? Is it passing laws to combat discrimination? Is it protesting till authorities take action against unjust practices? Those are all part of it, but it is more. For one thing it is more than just structures and laws, it is the encouragement of fair and equitable processes. It is the equal sharing of resources and opportunities with all. It is changing from requiring mandates to a mindset of doing right because it is the right thing to do, not just because you have to do it. 

A recent example is hospital visitation, specifically the ICU. The usual rule for patients in the ICU is that visitation is limited to immediate family members. For many hospitals with a religious foundation have ruled out visits by same sex partners, even married ones. There has been legislation to address this problem, forcing hospitals to change policies. But why is a law required to prompt institutions to do the right thing? How can those who are in the healing professionals deny comfort to those hurting, based on some dogma when the visit would help and not hurt anyone? Isn't the first rule of the Hippocratic oath "do no harm"?

Sometimes I think we see ourselves separate from justice. We formalize justice into a system and forget that we need to be administrating and demonstrating justice in our daily lives. We can't and don't have to wait for justice to be done, we need to be doing it ourselves, with the lives around us that we can help.

As the Old Testament admonition goes "Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly" It is not just something that is done, but something we all do - or should.

Flexibility

Flexibility is something we strive for. I am a fan of gymnastics, especially watching the Olympic competition. I marvel at the moves, strength, and flexibility that those athletes have. Age and lack of practice diminish the ability to be physically flexible and my bones and muscles ache just watching the gymnasts perform. Some say that yoga can rebuild some of that stretching ability, so I may have to try that. But there is one area that we can all practice stretching.

The craft of a wordsmith is stretching. Learning and practicing the powerful and effective use of words is a craft that any can attempt. Being able to go beyond simple talks to inspiring, encouraging, challenging speeches is something that we should aspire to. The better we can communicate the more impact we can have for good in this world.

In Toastmasters we begin with eliminating filler words  - the 'ahs', 'ums', and 'so's' that can litter our speaking and be as annoying as physical trash on the street. We call out bad grammar and praise good use of grammar. We plant words of the day to increase our vocabulary and give recognition to 'colorful words and phrases', as we call them - when speakers incorporate elevated descriptions into their presentations. 

Recently we have been taking that work to another level - competition. One of our veterans recently commended speakers at a Division contest for 'stretching' themselves in their speeches. Taking them beyond the ordinary and with continual practice become more precise and descriptive and inspiring.

There were definitely some 'wow' speeches. It has definitely inspired me.

And if you want to hear some truly inspiring speakers you will again be able to listen to the best of the best at the World Championship of Public Speaking put on by Toastmasters International for free on Zoom this coming August. 

The 3 E's

 When I first joined Toastmasters my first speech, as is for all new members, was my icebreaker. An icebreaker is where you introduce yourself to the club and share how you would like to be remembered. In some ways it is the easiest speech and the toughest speech, all at the same time. It is the easiest because the topic is you and you are the expert - easy to remember and uncontroversial because it is all about you

But in some ways it is also the hardest. How do you define yourself, how do you narrow down the details of your life to fit 4-6 minutes. Don't sweat, there will be other icebreakers as you navigate the paths of TM. But I believe the first answer that comes to mind usually is best. So the answer to that first question - who are you? - is what comes to mind first.

That's how I came up with my "3 E's" speech. Explore, Experiment, Express. Those are the three words that define me most. I love to explore - both physical space and mental and experiential knowledge.  I love to experiment - try new things (food and otherwise) , do things a different way, and combine elements (chemistry and food mainly) to find out what happens. And I am a expressive person, even for an introvert. I enjoy expressing to others what I am thinking or what is going on with me, through music and/or words, in order to help people grow, feel accepted, and challenged.

Musing on those 3 leads me to articulate what I see as the purpose for this blog. I want to help you expand your mind and your horizons. I want to inspire you to explore without fear. To experiment with abandon And I want you to be able to express who you are, help others to see that, and to affirm yourself and your self worth. All of us have stories to tell, you need to tell them, and the world needs to hear them.

And hopefully I can use this blog and the comments to do inspire you. Don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. Be yourself and be proud of it.

It's okay to be different - even weird

 Have you ever been called "different"? Did you every suspect that they were really thinking "you're weird"?  There can be pressure today, not just in our teen years, to conform, to stick to the mainstream and "fit in ".  But if you look around at nature you see all sorts of differences, even within types of flora and fauna. When I go on my morning walks I see and hear all sorts of creatures. I am often greeted with a chorus of frogs, unseen but clearly heard. I see scampering squirrels and hopping wild rabbits. It gets me in a good mood for the day. 

And then there are the birds. In essence they are the same creature - two-footed beaked flying things. But we know that there is so much variety, in every way. They look different, they sound different, they behave and fly differently. The little chickadees and quail flit swiftly from place to place, darting for crumbs and then away again. The ducks furiously quack like they hate to fly, while the geese honk as they head onward in formation across the sky. The herons lift off gracefully as they launch themselves into the sky, while the crows play chicken with cars, zipping off quickly at the last second.  And then there are the Stellar Jays who mimic others birds with their voices and are known among vacationers as campground thieves. 

So why should we be afraid of being different, or sticking out? Sometimes it is because we don't have company. We have normal stamped into us all by those, at home, at school, in society, who fear that we will be hurt if we stick out. Yes, some feel threatened by us being different, but I think a lot of well-meaning people, both parents and not, are afraid we will be rejected if we appear different. Sometimes we are restrained by words - that we don't want to apply to us.

I encountered one of those words in my life - weird. Nobody wants to be called weird. It has strong negative connotations - a bad label. I had a particular unusual food combination choice that I liked but many considered weird. I had a coworker who repeatedly used that word to describe it. Frankly one day I had had enough, so I said "okay, so I'm weird, somebody has to be, might as well be me". After that she never used the word again - I had neutralized its sting. It didn't hurt me since I had accepted it.

What labels have you had? What potentially keeps you from being you? Next time someone tries to limit you (even if it's just in your mind) by using a label like 'different', or 'weird', think of the birds and take pride in your 'difference'. Try to imagine how you can turn their words against them, or better yet how you can use that word to motivate yourself to be different. It can be a great challenge, but I believe you are up to it. And you have plenty of company if you just look around. If we were all quacking ducks afraid to fly, how far would that get us and how boring it would be.:)

End of the week thoughts

It has been a good week, much quicker going by than last week, even though I had 2 days off last week and just finished my usual 5 day stretch today. It was also a successful week at work which makes things go smoother. I am in the middle of Toastmaster contest season, with 3 Division contests completed, and 4 more to go, plus the District contest next month. I just found out that I now have 4 judges recruited for that contest, needing 5 more and one tie-breaker. It has been a successful and satisfying stretch as District Chief Judge, but I am eager to get going on preparations for my next gig - Division B Director for the 2021-2022 TM year.

The struggle with club growth continues - with our Edmonds club trying to rebuild and attract new members - next up is an open house on June 4th. And we did a reboot on our Marysville club - renaming it Pacific Storytellers, with a focus on storytelling. I am hoping that I will learn things through those experiences and clubs with membership issues in Division B that will help prepare me for a second run at Club Growth Director.

So far I have done 14 days blogging, including my first day April 3rd. I plan to keep on blogging on a daily basis in order to establish a habit, similar to my daily walks, and also to hopefully attract an audience. I don't know where exactly this will lead, but is an effort that I want to do and hopefully encourage and educated others. 

More to come

Think around corners

Think outside of the box - how many times have you used that phrase and wished you had a fresh new way to encourage people to be creative? Cliches are true phrases that have gotten beaten into the ground through overuse. I always wanted to find a better phrase and now I have. My most recent reading on leadership used the phrase "he was known for thinking around corners. I had never heard that before but I was hooked. It was such a fresh, novel way of putting it. I googled it and found that this is an up and coming phrase for creativity. I found several articles detailing the process.

My initial reaction was that it didn't say see around the corners, but rather think around the corners. I also noted that even though you can't physically see around a corner you can use other senses to give clues about what is around the corner. You can hear sounds from around the corner, you can smell something around the corner, and you can feel vibrations around the corner. So much like a blind person relies on there other senses when deprived of sight, you can use other senses to make up for the lack of sight around that corner.

But then there were other concepts that I was introduced to that amplified the concept. One person wrote about how a strategically placed mirror could help you see around the corner. They said that we all have times that we can't see around the corner and we need to have  different perspective and the mirror could be used to represent that. If you were able to create characters quite differently than yourself you could put the questions to them and get responses and perhaps get help to "see" around that 'corner'.

They suggested creating 3 characters to be that mirror - to give you options.

The other view involved an ongoing practice of asking 'what if?", using several methods including a heavy dose of curiosity to assemble options based on  what might happen, so as to be prepared for what is around the corner. This is both a hedge against bad things that might happen, but also a preparation for what good things might happen We often treat surprises with suspicion, thinking worst case scenario, fearful of carefully laid plans that get foiled. But we also need to anticipate that things might turn out much better than planned and be prepared to take advantage of them. 

There is much more to learn about this and I will be incorporating this into my leadership planning. And I would encourage you to be curious and try to think around the corner.

Curiosity

They say that curiosity killed the cat. But don't believe that. Cats always land on their feet. They don't fear curiosity and neither should we. In these days of pandemic alteration of life there is much need for change and the best change happens when we step off the cliff of the normal and soar into the unknown seeking to cause transformational change. We need imagination and inspiration to produce that lasting impact - to be not passively reactive but proactively reaching forward. 

I admit I am a bit biased. I was born curious, as are we all, but I maintained it through the rigors of school, traditional church, and in general a society based on set ways. I grew up in the 60's, a time of great change and was raised in a country neighborhood with plenty of space to explore. I had parents who encouraged my thirst for knowledge and allowed me to experiment. 

Not all of my experiments turned out well. I created a fire in my bedroom through a chemistry experiment gone awry.  I drained the household supply of either vinegar or baking soda with an experimental rocket. And I royally failed at my first baking attempt. Later on in college I spooked a chemistry lab assistant when I dropped a rootbeer lifesaver in a beaker of nitric acid just to see what would happen. The thick brown cloud in the beaker got swiftly sucked up under the safety vent. 

Nowadays I experiment with food and words, much safer than chemicals. But I am still very committed to staying curious, continually learning. And these words will never cross my lips (except in sarcasm) "we've never done it that way before"

Lessons from the lumberyard

I have learned a lot of patience in my working years, none more than when I worked at a lumberyard in Phoenix. Not only was there plenty of heat, dust, sawdust, noise, but ornery people, most of all my boss, Wes. Looking back not only was stubborn, loud, unpredictable, but he was abusive. Somehow I made it through 5 plus years there and in the process learned good word-working skills but also some general practical lessons. I'd like to share three with you.

The first one I learned the various machine saws that were used to trim the rough wood done to the size, smoothness and shape to be sold. When feeding boards into the machines you had to walk a fine line and had to not be afraid of the machine. If you held the board too lightly it would skew and get mangled. If you held it too tight would jam the machine. You had to guide it in and let the machine take it the rest of the way. 

The second lesson was on the molding machine. We made all sorts of wood molds, from chair and bar rails, to door jams, to floor and ceiling molding. Look around when you are in a restaurant or bar and you will see examples of what we made in the edges of walls and doors. I did a lot of work at the 'business end' of the machine - where the finished product came out. I was armed with a Skill Saw and my job was to trim any bad ends and then bundled the molding for storage and sale. I had a table underneath where the molding exited the machine and I learned, especially with reminders from my partner, Ernie, that if I hesitated to trim first the pile of molding would build up quickly requiring a time out to clear it. His constant mantra was 'when it's in your hand trim it, don't put it down until you have fixed it".  Deal with it right away and you won't have to deal with it again - keeps me going today.

And the third lesson was from observing a young coworker temp we had working for us for a short time. When feeding the  molding machine it is best to keep a constant flow of lumber pieces going in. If the piece in the machine did not have another piece being pulled in after it it would stall and the board would burn from the rollers trying to pull it along. On the other hand you wanted to trim off any rough ends before putting a piece in the machine. So there was a trim saw on a tripod behind the machine so you could trim any bad ends. Of course over time a pile of cut ends would build up behind the saw and you had to keep that down so the saw could do it's work. To make a long story short one day this kid saw the pile behind the saw building up, quickly tried to clear it, saw the last piece feeding into the machine and in a hurry put his hand down on the tripod to get back to the machine and his hand went into the blade. He pulled it back out quickly so he didn't get seriously hurt, but he did have a cut and required bandaging. He never got that hurried again  and we put a saw guide over most of the blade.

So, guide things along - don't try to force it. Deal with problems right away before they build up. And be mindful of your surroundings and don't rush. Lessons from the lumberyard. 

Yoda was wrong

 Yoda, the great Jedi master was wrong when he told Luke "do or do not, there is no try".

There is always "try". We never know for certain how our efforts will turn out. We are never guaranteed success. And if we shy away from trying because we are afraid of losing then we will never win. It is important also to try things so that we learn. We learn what we do well and what we need to practice more. We get a sense of our strengths and our weaknesses. And most of all, we learn what we really love and is vital to us, and what leaves us cold and can be left behind. Therefore we can put forth our energy in the right places.

Yoda was also wrong when he said to Anikin "anger leads to hate". Many times that is true, but not all. There is a time for anger. When we see injustice, like often in the past year, we get angry. And that angry can translate into speaking out against injustice and seeking for ways to confront and overcome the injustice. People who are suffering from injustice need our voices and efforts in righteous indignation.

And Yoda, and the other Jedi Masters were also wrong when they warned against attachments. Again there can be trouble when we get too attached to things or to certain people. But attachments, relationships with others are the staff of life. They give it meaning and pleasure. Love is not a danger to duty, but the force (no pun intended) that holds societies together. The Jedi set the stage for their doom by denying Anikin the freedom to love, and to have empathetic support in battling the fears he had about his mother and Padma. He had no other choice than to turn to the dark side when the light rejected him.

So try, speak out against injustice, and fiercely love and protect those are precious to you. It may not be the way of the force. But it is the way of life.

Not All Who Wander are Lost

 You might have heard the quote before "Not all who wander are lost". It was penned by J.R.R.Tolkien as part of a poem about one of the characters in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I saw it recently painted on a series of rocks forming the foundation for a railroad track running along Puget Sound north of Mukilteo where I was exploring the shore. I take it as one of my mantras, since I am always out to discover new trails to walk, forests to explore, sights to see.

Oftentimes we can find ourselves following the same paths, doing things the same way, practicing the same habits. It's comfortable, but if you follow the same path all the time ruts can develop. And then the ruts can get deep and controlling. The only way to get out of ruts is to actively step out and do something different. That can take the form of 'wandering', or as I would term it 'exploring'.

Everywhere I go I like to explore. When I was a kid it was climbing to the top of the nearest hill by our  campsite. Whenever I moved to a different place to live I would go out and explore the neighborhood and any nearby forest or wild areas. Sometimes I would drive around, purposely get myself 'lost', and then keep going till I reached a familiar place again. That way I would discover new pathways and routes to get home even when I really got seriously lost. I discovered there are many ways to get from one location to another, some of them really scenic.

When I go hiking on trails I take 'bunny trails' that are not official but inviting. Some are fulfilling, some not, but I take them anyway just to see. It's like Forrest Gump says about chocolate "you never know what you're gonna' get". I love when trails fork off, depending on my mood I may take one or the other, always expecting to discover something new.

I think we need to have that in life as well. Sometimes we are so driven by goals and expectations that we can miss the unexpected pleasures of discovery. And perhaps miss a better way to do things.

So if you see me wandering, don't assume that I am lost - or that if I am lost, don't assume that I need help to get found. Let yourself get lost sometimes, lost in discovery and expect pleasant surprises.

Competition woes

 We live in a competitive society. Many of us have favorite teams we cheer for in many sports and then we have the Olympics coming up  - hopefully this year  - and we cheer for our USA teams. We also have other events where we experience competition. As part of Toastmasters International I am involved not only in improving my speaking and leadership skills, but as a District Chief Judge I oversee the voting in the speech contests that determine who moves forward in that competition. And several years ago while I experienced a short stretch of unemployment I was involved in competing for jobs, often without seeing or knowing who I was competing with.

Everybody loves a winner, and struggles with losing. Sometimes it can affect our moods and attitudes. In my 20's and 30's when my favorite team lost a game it ruined my day. I was so involved that I took it personally, even though it did not materially affect my day. I had to mentally remind myself "it's just a game" and almost militantly take myself to task to separate my emotions from it. I have seen it take hold of people and result in destructive behavior, either external or internal. 

I have seen it at international competitions, like the Olympics, where rooting for our own national teams takes priority and overshadows the appreciation for the skill and sportsmanship of others with whom we share this planet. We deprive ourselves and others in that way and do the sport a diservice.

But it is not just involved with sports.. I'd like to have you briefly consider two other arenas where competition can be destructive.  I  up grew up in a supportive family with supportive parents and siblings. I was the baby of the family, with four older sisters.  I am glad that my parents didn't play favorites, we were all treated with equal value. No one had to compete for our parent's love - it was given freely and without conditions. Our vacations each summer were a bonding experience and have resulted in annual family reunions that continued for 30 years only interrupted by last year's covid outbreak. I have known many people who did not have that and it makes me sad.

And  as a nation we also have another arena where competition has no place. That arena is healthcare. Having been a worker in the system for 30 years I have seen the set up and downfall of it and how it affects people. I work for a company that is dedicated to helping people get access to healthcare. But the overall system is based on competition -companies competing for members and so many rules on what is covered and how much. We are fortunate that the testing and vaccines have been covered at no cost, but it has people wondering why couldn't we have this apply to healthcare in general, so that people would not have to put off needed treatment due to either finances or rules.

We always do better when we cooperate as  people to solve problems. So don't get caught up in competition, winners versus losers. Let's seek to cooperate more, and all be winners.:)

The Power of Silence

People think that good communication is driven by making the right choice of words and the right way to speak them. They fail to realize that just as important is when not to speak. Silence is powerful. One of the ways we know that is through the elimination of filler words. Often speeches and ordinary daily communication is cluttered by filler words - like um, uh, so, and , you know, etc. We have a bad habit of inserting these in our sentences, often just to keep the train of conversation going. We may be afraid if we let up someone will take over the conversation. Or we think that if we pause we will risk looking lost or confused, unsure what to say. Actually when we take a pause our conversations and presentations become stronger because the words we say stand out and get delivered more forcefully.

Another way that silence is powerful is one that introverts know very well. Extroverts draw their energy from crowds and constant conversation and activity. Introverts, on the other hand, draw their energy from silence and solitude. We can engage in social activity just fine, but at some point we need to recharge and for that we need calm and silence, if for no other reason than to hear ourselves think.

Listening to yourself is a great practice - both body and mind. I find that my greatest time of re-energizing is taking a walk, preferably in nature. Many mornings I start out to a chorus of frogs, or hearing all the neighborhood birds greeting the dawn. I can observe so many things when I am quietly walking and my eyes and ears and mind are clear of distractions. 

Listening is another form of silence. To spend time with a loved one or friend and just listen to what they are saying. Sometimes we talk over each other, eager to share our experiences and thoughts and get so focused on ourselves that we forget to listen to each other. That takes some silence on our part. This is extremely important in dealing with helping someone going through grief, but it is also important in other situations. Remember that one way of showing interest and empathy is good eye contact, open ears, and closed lips. 

Someone once said that silence is golden. So true. So take time in the midst of conversation to breath and let the other person talk. It is said that God gave us two ears and one mouth and perhaps that means that we should listen twice as much as we talk. Just a thought

Less is More

 Less is more. We know the saying. Sometimes we think about diet - less calories gives more satisfaction and better health. But there is more than one way to think about that. I'd like us to consider 3 ways.

Less is more when we are deciding. Sometimes we tend to overthink situations and spend too much time and effort trying to fix or understand things, You may have heard about Occams\'s Razor - the idea that often the simplest and least complicated answer is correct. That is why I usually avoid and discount conspiracies - they are too complicated and subject to failing. I catch myself over analyzing and try to go with the simple answer. Less is more.

As many of us have noticed during our covid home bound times that we have a lot of clutter. To downsize we need to remember that less is more. We often keep too much stuff, or more than we need of any one thing, yet have trouble getting rid of extra, keeping only that which, as an expert states - gives us joy. Less is more

And thirdly, we often have a habit of trying too hard to help in time of need for those going through grief, either lose of loved one or other grief bringing experiences. We try to use our words to "help" when what they really need is our presence and acceptance that they are grieving. Sharing similar experiences, saying things will get better, or highlighting the good things going on  don't help. Let your words be few, let them be the type of "I'm sorry for your loss", "I care", or simply "I'm here", and then be there.

remember - Less is More

A Home for Storytellers

 

Do you have a story that you are eager to share? A story that you are bursting at the seams to tell? Or a story you just don’t know how to tell or who to tell it to?

We all have stories to tell — not just one, but many. Personal stories about who we are, what we want to achieve, where we’ve been, and where we are going. Stories that not only inspire us, but also inspire and enrich the lives of others.

We once gathered around the fire to tell such stories. But where do we go now? Where is the modern-day fireside?

For nearly a century, Toastmasters has provided a safe and encouraging environment to sharpen our presentation skills for greater clarity and impact. A place to hone the art of storytelling, to pass those stories along and widen our reach.

Pacific Storytellers is a new Toastmasters club that is a home for the storytellers of the world to gather and offer stories of healing, stories of encouragement, stories full of passion — and, of course, stories for entertainment. Come one, come all!

Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek used to say, “Please phrase your answer in the form of a question.” But we at Pacific Storytellers say, “Please express your message in the form of a story.” We are all waiting to hear your story.

Come make your home at Pacific Storytellers. We meet on first and third Wednesdays of each month at 7:00 p.m. PST, on Zoom.

Contact me, Bob King, at bobkingtoastmaster2013@gmail.com for the Zoom link.

Age is a state of mind

I believe age is just a state of mind. Turning a certain age does not define your physical, mental, or emotional state. It does not lock you into or out of certain characteristics. I never accepted the notion of middle age, reject senior status, and choose to see myself as I am, not being defined by societal accepted norms. I choose to remain young at heart and in mind, no matter how many years I may have accumulated.

I turned 65 today, but I don't feel it. I don't even know what 65 should feel like. My mom never made it to 65  - she died at 62, and though my dad lasted till 69, by that time he had survived several strokes and his health was much diminished so I cannot use him as a standard of expectations. I have worked hard to avoid the mistakes he made, chiefly paying attention to high blood pressure, and have remained very active so I am in very much better shape than he was in his 60's. I have also been exposed to many older folks who have endeavored to think and act young. It has encouraged me to stay positive and engaged with life.

I am not naive. I know that I am not 30 any more. If I forget my body will remind me. When I was 30 I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up in one day. That memory amazes me - no way would I even think of attempting that. And sitting cross-legged on the floor for any length of time will have my back in pain for hours. But I also walk a mile or two every day to keep active and remain an avid learner, to keep both my body and mind in good condition.

When I was in my late 30s I had a coworker who at 23 was bemoaning being "past his prime".  Part of the problem was that he was a chain smoker - every 30 minutes he would disappear and come back with smoke wafting out of his pores. And he also had a negative attitude that did not help.  On the other hand during a nursing home ministry I met a 103 year old lady named Ellen, who when asked how she was doing, would state from her wheelchair, "well I don't get around as well as I used to, but otherwise I'm doing just fine". 

You see, it can come down to attitude. I tell my wife, there are young and there are younger. I (we) are young, but there are many younger. The times I most realize that I am older is when I consider my nieces and nephews, great nieces and nephews, and some great-great nieces and nephews. My youngest nephew just turned 39, and a month ago my oldest nephew turned 52. I remember clearly when they wer just little kids. It's like when I turned 50, my four sisters, all older, exclaimed "little brother is 50, how did that happen?". They said much the same thing when I turned 65. 

Age happens, no matter what you do, and it is not always pleasant. But I have found that when I think young and don't let mere age limit me, it goes much better.  Think young!:)

The importance of being intentional

I walk every day. It is a regular activity that helps my mind wake up and my mood elevate. But the efficacy of the activity is dependent both on how intentional I am and the pace of my walk. I can get stuck in a negative mood, focusing on problems and have-nots, and my pace and mood suffer. When I start out strong and focus on positives I find myself more energetic and clear thinking. I can often work out solutions to problems while I walk and do creative thinking. I can also learn by observation, even when I am walking the same path but noticing different details. 

Being intentional with my activities and thoughts during the day helps overcome the drag of routine. Simply being reactive to events puts you on a rollercoaster ride. Being intentionally pro-active results in not only a more satisfying day, but also in carryover for the next day and beyond. It is a matter of choosing how to respond to those things you can't control, rather than let those events drive you.

But it is vital that you determine at the outset to take action, because once you give in to non-action it is hard to battle back. If you start strong in the day it is much easier to continue. Kind of like momentum - things at rest tend to stay at rest, things in motion tend to stay in motion. 

Be intentional in your actions and thoughts today.

When there's a 'why' there's a way

 Where there's a will, there's a way. We've heard it all before. The power of determination, the challenge to succeed, gutting it out to achieve a goal. Sound good, right? The problem is many people work hard on what they think they should do, but many come up short and wonder what is wrong with them. They bust their butts, stress themselves out, and end up frustrated and failing. And the problem is not with their effort, or even their plans, but that they are focusing on what, not why. 

They make plans with no vision, no passion. They are focusing on what they want to achieve, but forgetting about why. Why do you want to achieve a certain position in a company, a certain level of income, to meet someone else's definition of success.? The real satisfying success comes when you have passion and to have passion it needs to be something you really want. 

Granted we can't all focus on passion, just do what we want. In this world we have to make a living, and that is what makes work, "work". But we can choose to try and find something about our work that really gets us motivated and try to spend the energy on that. Sort of a 'spin' on our work that can motivate us to improve and carry us through. 

And we can choose to find something outside of work that draws us forward, something that we can be passionate about. We can find our 'why' in life. And if we can identify the 'why' we can find the 'what' the way to make it happen. 

So instead of beating yourself up over perceived lack of 'will', search to find the 'why' and you will find the way to meet those goals

Spring is here

 I think Spring is here. How do I know? I have started seeing wild bunnies out on my morning walks - a couple almost under my feet. The robins are furiously announcing their displeasure as I apparently have come too close to their nests (unknowingly). And I have a couple times walked out to a frog chorus. Spring is my favorite time of year, with crocuses, grape hyacinths, daffodils all bursting forth from the ground. And tulips are next on the horizon. 

Spring is a time of new beginnings, which all of us really need right now after the chaos, fear, and angst of 2020. Maybe now that the corona virus vaccine has come out we can get back to some kind of a new normal. Not the old normal, that is gone. But I believe we can have a new and improved normality, building on the lessons of last year and the changes we can "build back better". And we got a wake up call to never take our health, nor our loved ones, for granted again.

Our Toastmasters conference theme this year is Imagine, Inspire, and Impact. I think it is a perfect mantra for a brand new year of 2021. This blog represents for me a renewed focus on moving forward with energy based on reflections from the past in fully living and enjoying each new day.