Assumptions and expectations

Expectations and assumptions go together and both can lead to trouble. Part of the problem is that we all come from different experiences and patterns of behavioral upbringing and we often fail to take that into account. We see our experiences as normative and everything else as out of the norm. It can be as simple as reading a set of rules and what do you do with things that are not spelled out. Kind of like the glass half full/glass half empty. Some will say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can do something, you can't. While others , myself included, say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can't do something , means you can.  

We make assumptions based on our own experience - everyone should know what we know, everyone should have the same reactions we do. But everyone comes from their own experiences and may react differently. I have to watch myself on that at times. 

At a recent Toastmaster contest there was new person serving as toastmaster, basically the emcee of the event. Prior to the event there are briefings for all the participants. The judges, ballot counters, and the timers are briefed by the chief judge, and the contestants are briefed by the toastmaster. The reason is the toastmaster is the one who introduces the contestants when they speak and interviews them after they all speak, so it makes sense for the toastmaster to brief them on the rules and procedures of the contest. The problem  in this contest was that our toastmaster was a relative newbie to contests and he made the assumption that I, as chief judge, would be briefing everyone. 

Fortunately we discovered this in the dry run (practice) for the contest and not at the event itself. But often in life we make assumptions or have expectations in situations that end badly. It is wise to be open to others experiences and not prejudge the situation. 

There is one case where I believe we should use assumptions and expectations - in a very positive way. I believe, as my mother taught me, that we should expect the best of everyone. Not demanding the best, but be expecting the best from everyone. Not prejudge someone before they have had a chance to make that first impression. And as I have heard from others - assume positive intent. Assume that someone means well and has no negative intent by their words or their actions. They may not turn out that way but we should go into every interaction with that mindset.