next time

 would'a, ,should'a, could'a, and if only. Sad words for regret. You know you've said them. Scent of guilt mixed in with those. I wish I had but I can't fix. Those words will dog us unless we develop a forward looking alternative. And that is 'next time". Next time I will do better, next time I will remember. Next time I will think ahead, plan ahead, do the right thing. 

In toastmasters we have speeches and then we have evaluations. Not critiques. Critiques are saying what was wrong. What was missing. It is looking backwards. And it is easy. I did book reports when I was a kid and the easiest to do was when I really didn't like a book. It was when I liked a book the book report was hard to do. So is a speech critque. But a speech evaluation is harder. 

A good evaluation tells what you liked about the speech and the delivery with what you specifically appreciated - kudos to the speaker. But in between is the improvement you would like to see. We use it as a 'next time" we'd like to see you do 'blank'. Next time, use some more humor, next time use more gestures, next time more pauses. It is given not to tell you what you missed, but how you can make your speech better next time. 

Apply that to your life. Instead of giving yourself a hard time and 'should'ing' on yourself, say 'next time" I will 'blank". Next timeI will do better, think more, plan better. Don't focus on the past, look to the future - to the 'next time'.