Age is a state of mind

I believe age is just a state of mind. Turning a certain age does not define your physical, mental, or emotional state. It does not lock you into or out of certain characteristics. I never accepted the notion of middle age, reject senior status, and choose to see myself as I am, not being defined by societal accepted norms. I choose to remain young at heart and in mind, no matter how many years I may have accumulated.

I turned 65 today, but I don't feel it. I don't even know what 65 should feel like. My mom never made it to 65  - she died at 62, and though my dad lasted till 69, by that time he had survived several strokes and his health was much diminished so I cannot use him as a standard of expectations. I have worked hard to avoid the mistakes he made, chiefly paying attention to high blood pressure, and have remained very active so I am in very much better shape than he was in his 60's. I have also been exposed to many older folks who have endeavored to think and act young. It has encouraged me to stay positive and engaged with life.

I am not naive. I know that I am not 30 any more. If I forget my body will remind me. When I was 30 I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up in one day. That memory amazes me - no way would I even think of attempting that. And sitting cross-legged on the floor for any length of time will have my back in pain for hours. But I also walk a mile or two every day to keep active and remain an avid learner, to keep both my body and mind in good condition.

When I was in my late 30s I had a coworker who at 23 was bemoaning being "past his prime".  Part of the problem was that he was a chain smoker - every 30 minutes he would disappear and come back with smoke wafting out of his pores. And he also had a negative attitude that did not help.  On the other hand during a nursing home ministry I met a 103 year old lady named Ellen, who when asked how she was doing, would state from her wheelchair, "well I don't get around as well as I used to, but otherwise I'm doing just fine". 

You see, it can come down to attitude. I tell my wife, there are young and there are younger. I (we) are young, but there are many younger. The times I most realize that I am older is when I consider my nieces and nephews, great nieces and nephews, and some great-great nieces and nephews. My youngest nephew just turned 39, and a month ago my oldest nephew turned 52. I remember clearly when they wer just little kids. It's like when I turned 50, my four sisters, all older, exclaimed "little brother is 50, how did that happen?". They said much the same thing when I turned 65. 

Age happens, no matter what you do, and it is not always pleasant. But I have found that when I think young and don't let mere age limit me, it goes much better.  Think young!:)

The importance of being intentional

I walk every day. It is a regular activity that helps my mind wake up and my mood elevate. But the efficacy of the activity is dependent both on how intentional I am and the pace of my walk. I can get stuck in a negative mood, focusing on problems and have-nots, and my pace and mood suffer. When I start out strong and focus on positives I find myself more energetic and clear thinking. I can often work out solutions to problems while I walk and do creative thinking. I can also learn by observation, even when I am walking the same path but noticing different details. 

Being intentional with my activities and thoughts during the day helps overcome the drag of routine. Simply being reactive to events puts you on a rollercoaster ride. Being intentionally pro-active results in not only a more satisfying day, but also in carryover for the next day and beyond. It is a matter of choosing how to respond to those things you can't control, rather than let those events drive you.

But it is vital that you determine at the outset to take action, because once you give in to non-action it is hard to battle back. If you start strong in the day it is much easier to continue. Kind of like momentum - things at rest tend to stay at rest, things in motion tend to stay in motion. 

Be intentional in your actions and thoughts today.

When there's a 'why' there's a way

 Where there's a will, there's a way. We've heard it all before. The power of determination, the challenge to succeed, gutting it out to achieve a goal. Sound good, right? The problem is many people work hard on what they think they should do, but many come up short and wonder what is wrong with them. They bust their butts, stress themselves out, and end up frustrated and failing. And the problem is not with their effort, or even their plans, but that they are focusing on what, not why. 

They make plans with no vision, no passion. They are focusing on what they want to achieve, but forgetting about why. Why do you want to achieve a certain position in a company, a certain level of income, to meet someone else's definition of success.? The real satisfying success comes when you have passion and to have passion it needs to be something you really want. 

Granted we can't all focus on passion, just do what we want. In this world we have to make a living, and that is what makes work, "work". But we can choose to try and find something about our work that really gets us motivated and try to spend the energy on that. Sort of a 'spin' on our work that can motivate us to improve and carry us through. 

And we can choose to find something outside of work that draws us forward, something that we can be passionate about. We can find our 'why' in life. And if we can identify the 'why' we can find the 'what' the way to make it happen. 

So instead of beating yourself up over perceived lack of 'will', search to find the 'why' and you will find the way to meet those goals

Spring is here

 I think Spring is here. How do I know? I have started seeing wild bunnies out on my morning walks - a couple almost under my feet. The robins are furiously announcing their displeasure as I apparently have come too close to their nests (unknowingly). And I have a couple times walked out to a frog chorus. Spring is my favorite time of year, with crocuses, grape hyacinths, daffodils all bursting forth from the ground. And tulips are next on the horizon. 

Spring is a time of new beginnings, which all of us really need right now after the chaos, fear, and angst of 2020. Maybe now that the corona virus vaccine has come out we can get back to some kind of a new normal. Not the old normal, that is gone. But I believe we can have a new and improved normality, building on the lessons of last year and the changes we can "build back better". And we got a wake up call to never take our health, nor our loved ones, for granted again.

Our Toastmasters conference theme this year is Imagine, Inspire, and Impact. I think it is a perfect mantra for a brand new year of 2021. This blog represents for me a renewed focus on moving forward with energy based on reflections from the past in fully living and enjoying each new day. 

3 words for the new year

My New Year's experience this time involved 3 words. Two were from the word of the day emails that I got and they were perfect for the occasion. The other word was suggested by someone on Facebook and brought up appropriate memories. The word of the day for New Year's Eve day , December 31st was sayonara which is Japanese for "farewell" or "goodbye" - which for the end of 2020 was perfect. Everyone wants to say "good bye" to this year, nobody wants to remember it - just put it behind us. Worse year of our lives. 

The word (rather phrase) of the day for New Year's Day, January 1st, was carpe diem - Latin for seize the day. Looking forward that is what we want to do - take charge, make the most of the opportunities each day presents. Whether it is  personal or political there is much to be improved over the last year (or in political the last 4 years). Broken systems to fix, hurts to be healed, progress desperately needed. It is the perfect phrase to use to motivate us for positive change at the beginning of the new year.

And then the 3rd word - jumanji. I know that is odd, but it is what my wife and I both said at midnight, and a few other friends said. If you remember the movie uttering that triggered the end of the disasterous game and restore things to normal. After all we went through in 2020 it was the final send off and "good riddance" to all the pain, loss, misery, and chaos of the past. And a declaration that we were finally moving forward. Of course there are those clinging to the past - deluded into thinking it was normal -but we are moving on, determined to build a better future.

So I urge you to use Jumanji to at least visually detach yourself from the clutches of the past, say sayonara to the pain of the past, and shout carpe diem and seize the opportunities today to surge forward.

Don't wait

 The troubles with New Year's resolutions are many. Oftentimes they are built on guilt. They start with "I should start (or end) this practice".  You feel you should do something, or stop doing something. Not necessarily what you want to do. And they are based on starting on a certain date, and extending throughout the year. You feel as if you must do this thing every day, and if you miss a day you have failed. It's not as if being successful a high percentage of the time is okay. It is all or nothing - either you are perfect or it is a waste. It is not a good model for success. And the build up to the start date - New Year's - is stressful - like running a race. You can't start a new year's practice on January 2nd or 3rd. And you can't get a head start on December 30th or 31st. That just won't do. So most people either make new year's resolutions, work at it a few days and quit. Or they don't make new year's resolutions at all- and also don't make plans to improve their lives at all.

I think we need a different model. One that recognizes that it usually takes about 30 days to make a significant change. One that focuses on what we really want to do. And one that doesn't wait for a certain date to begin, but just does it now. If you really believe that some change in your life needs to happen, and that changing a specific behavior will help, why not just start doing it now?  Recently I went to the doctor for my annual physical. One of the issues I have is diabetes and my blood sugar numbers were high. I had been pretty regular in the past few years since being diagnosed, but during the pandemic I had gotten lax and also had some interruptions in prescription delivery and wasn't checking my numbers regularly. 

I knew that I needed to confront this and take corrective action- which my doctor recommended I do. I got the testing equipment squared away and my prescriptions fully filled. I restarted a practice that I had done before - regular testing in the morning, so I knew what my daily numbers were. And I started keeping track of numbers and what I ate on a daily basis, in a handy little notebook I carried with me. As a result I saw my numbers going down and could see why - and if my numbers were higher one day I could see why from what I had eaten.  My doctor was glad, and so was I. I established a good routine. And it was built on just doing it, not waiting for some special date.

So, for this coming year I urge you to embrace change. Don't wait till New Year's day to make some vague "resolution". Don't succumb to guilt. Find a vision of what changes you would really like to make this year, what actions that will take you to places you want to go, who you want to be. And start living that vision today.  Don't Wait.

Unconditional Love

 This past Wednesday I remembered my Mom on what would have been her 104th birthday.

She's  been gone for over 40 years, but the lessons she taught me, and the example of unconditional love resonates with me still. Especially in these days when hate and division are so evident and troubling.

Her guiding principle was to inclusion - accepting everyone and anyone, regardless of who they were, where they were from or how different they might be from you. She had a real sense of responsibility for the common good -to help wherever and whenever she could regardless of how it might affect her.

A couple examples come to mind: Once when I was a teenager there came up the issue of school levies being voted down. We were living in Glendale, Arizona and the schools were always in need of more funds to improve the schools for the families (some middle class and some lower class economically) who had kids. Unfortunately our school district also included the Sun City retirement community, where the residency required age 55 and over, so none of those residents had school age kids. And the general attitude was " I raised my kids already, I shouldn't have to pay for others' kids".

My mom was appalled. She had raised 5 of us kids - I was almost out of the house and off to college, my sisters were all out of the house, so she had no kids in the schools. And yet she felt that providing education for those school kids was a community responsibility. She and my dad were old enough to qualify for residency in Sun City and yet she would not have lived there.. She loved kids, taught kids, and fought for them to be able to get quality education. She was thrilled when Sun City was separated from the Glendale school district and the school levies were finally passed.

Another example came much earlier. My sisters and I were all raised in Portland, Oregon. And we attended a local conservative Baptist church. Our family was much involved in the church, my mom as a teacher and choir member, my dad working with the summer camping program. The church had missionary outreaches to Africa, specifically Cameroon. It was a good church and very supportive of those efforts. But then there was a time when one of the local pastors there visited our church.

My mom overheard some women discussing the presence of the African pastor in the services - in a negative manner. She was appalled and upset at their obvious double standard and discrimination. Oh, it was okay to help churches in Africa, but heaven forbid they visit us! My mom reached out to our visitors and welcomed them. 

For these reasons and many more examples I believe that my mom (and my dad too) would be appalled at the racism and other demeaning accusations thrown around to describe people, communities, and countries today. I don't think that we would always see eye to eye on every issue, but I know that our discussions, and her discussions with others, even with those she disagreed with, would be civil , respectful and rational. And that in all things she would strive to display love and acceptance to all.

She raised me and my sisters that way and we strive to live it out every day. She "practiced what she preached". No matter what I believe that is what we are called to do. Yes, speak up,, speak truth to power, denounce the hateful words. But at the same time treat others as you would want to be treated, with unconditional love..