Curiosity

They say that curiosity killed the cat. But don't believe that. Cats always land on their feet. They don't fear curiosity and neither should we. In these days of pandemic alteration of life there is much need for change and the best change happens when we step off the cliff of the normal and soar into the unknown seeking to cause transformational change. We need imagination and inspiration to produce that lasting impact - to be not passively reactive but proactively reaching forward. 

I admit I am a bit biased. I was born curious, as are we all, but I maintained it through the rigors of school, traditional church, and in general a society based on set ways. I grew up in the 60's, a time of great change and was raised in a country neighborhood with plenty of space to explore. I had parents who encouraged my thirst for knowledge and allowed me to experiment. 

Not all of my experiments turned out well. I created a fire in my bedroom through a chemistry experiment gone awry.  I drained the household supply of either vinegar or baking soda with an experimental rocket. And I royally failed at my first baking attempt. Later on in college I spooked a chemistry lab assistant when I dropped a rootbeer lifesaver in a beaker of nitric acid just to see what would happen. The thick brown cloud in the beaker got swiftly sucked up under the safety vent. 

Nowadays I experiment with food and words, much safer than chemicals. But I am still very committed to staying curious, continually learning. And these words will never cross my lips (except in sarcasm) "we've never done it that way before"

Lessons from the lumberyard

I have learned a lot of patience in my working years, none more than when I worked at a lumberyard in Phoenix. Not only was there plenty of heat, dust, sawdust, noise, but ornery people, most of all my boss, Wes. Looking back not only was stubborn, loud, unpredictable, but he was abusive. Somehow I made it through 5 plus years there and in the process learned good word-working skills but also some general practical lessons. I'd like to share three with you.

The first one I learned the various machine saws that were used to trim the rough wood done to the size, smoothness and shape to be sold. When feeding boards into the machines you had to walk a fine line and had to not be afraid of the machine. If you held the board too lightly it would skew and get mangled. If you held it too tight would jam the machine. You had to guide it in and let the machine take it the rest of the way. 

The second lesson was on the molding machine. We made all sorts of wood molds, from chair and bar rails, to door jams, to floor and ceiling molding. Look around when you are in a restaurant or bar and you will see examples of what we made in the edges of walls and doors. I did a lot of work at the 'business end' of the machine - where the finished product came out. I was armed with a Skill Saw and my job was to trim any bad ends and then bundled the molding for storage and sale. I had a table underneath where the molding exited the machine and I learned, especially with reminders from my partner, Ernie, that if I hesitated to trim first the pile of molding would build up quickly requiring a time out to clear it. His constant mantra was 'when it's in your hand trim it, don't put it down until you have fixed it".  Deal with it right away and you won't have to deal with it again - keeps me going today.

And the third lesson was from observing a young coworker temp we had working for us for a short time. When feeding the  molding machine it is best to keep a constant flow of lumber pieces going in. If the piece in the machine did not have another piece being pulled in after it it would stall and the board would burn from the rollers trying to pull it along. On the other hand you wanted to trim off any rough ends before putting a piece in the machine. So there was a trim saw on a tripod behind the machine so you could trim any bad ends. Of course over time a pile of cut ends would build up behind the saw and you had to keep that down so the saw could do it's work. To make a long story short one day this kid saw the pile behind the saw building up, quickly tried to clear it, saw the last piece feeding into the machine and in a hurry put his hand down on the tripod to get back to the machine and his hand went into the blade. He pulled it back out quickly so he didn't get seriously hurt, but he did have a cut and required bandaging. He never got that hurried again  and we put a saw guide over most of the blade.

So, guide things along - don't try to force it. Deal with problems right away before they build up. And be mindful of your surroundings and don't rush. Lessons from the lumberyard. 

Yoda was wrong

 Yoda, the great Jedi master was wrong when he told Luke "do or do not, there is no try".

There is always "try". We never know for certain how our efforts will turn out. We are never guaranteed success. And if we shy away from trying because we are afraid of losing then we will never win. It is important also to try things so that we learn. We learn what we do well and what we need to practice more. We get a sense of our strengths and our weaknesses. And most of all, we learn what we really love and is vital to us, and what leaves us cold and can be left behind. Therefore we can put forth our energy in the right places.

Yoda was also wrong when he said to Anikin "anger leads to hate". Many times that is true, but not all. There is a time for anger. When we see injustice, like often in the past year, we get angry. And that angry can translate into speaking out against injustice and seeking for ways to confront and overcome the injustice. People who are suffering from injustice need our voices and efforts in righteous indignation.

And Yoda, and the other Jedi Masters were also wrong when they warned against attachments. Again there can be trouble when we get too attached to things or to certain people. But attachments, relationships with others are the staff of life. They give it meaning and pleasure. Love is not a danger to duty, but the force (no pun intended) that holds societies together. The Jedi set the stage for their doom by denying Anikin the freedom to love, and to have empathetic support in battling the fears he had about his mother and Padma. He had no other choice than to turn to the dark side when the light rejected him.

So try, speak out against injustice, and fiercely love and protect those are precious to you. It may not be the way of the force. But it is the way of life.

Not All Who Wander are Lost

 You might have heard the quote before "Not all who wander are lost". It was penned by J.R.R.Tolkien as part of a poem about one of the characters in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I saw it recently painted on a series of rocks forming the foundation for a railroad track running along Puget Sound north of Mukilteo where I was exploring the shore. I take it as one of my mantras, since I am always out to discover new trails to walk, forests to explore, sights to see.

Oftentimes we can find ourselves following the same paths, doing things the same way, practicing the same habits. It's comfortable, but if you follow the same path all the time ruts can develop. And then the ruts can get deep and controlling. The only way to get out of ruts is to actively step out and do something different. That can take the form of 'wandering', or as I would term it 'exploring'.

Everywhere I go I like to explore. When I was a kid it was climbing to the top of the nearest hill by our  campsite. Whenever I moved to a different place to live I would go out and explore the neighborhood and any nearby forest or wild areas. Sometimes I would drive around, purposely get myself 'lost', and then keep going till I reached a familiar place again. That way I would discover new pathways and routes to get home even when I really got seriously lost. I discovered there are many ways to get from one location to another, some of them really scenic.

When I go hiking on trails I take 'bunny trails' that are not official but inviting. Some are fulfilling, some not, but I take them anyway just to see. It's like Forrest Gump says about chocolate "you never know what you're gonna' get". I love when trails fork off, depending on my mood I may take one or the other, always expecting to discover something new.

I think we need to have that in life as well. Sometimes we are so driven by goals and expectations that we can miss the unexpected pleasures of discovery. And perhaps miss a better way to do things.

So if you see me wandering, don't assume that I am lost - or that if I am lost, don't assume that I need help to get found. Let yourself get lost sometimes, lost in discovery and expect pleasant surprises.

Competition woes

 We live in a competitive society. Many of us have favorite teams we cheer for in many sports and then we have the Olympics coming up  - hopefully this year  - and we cheer for our USA teams. We also have other events where we experience competition. As part of Toastmasters International I am involved not only in improving my speaking and leadership skills, but as a District Chief Judge I oversee the voting in the speech contests that determine who moves forward in that competition. And several years ago while I experienced a short stretch of unemployment I was involved in competing for jobs, often without seeing or knowing who I was competing with.

Everybody loves a winner, and struggles with losing. Sometimes it can affect our moods and attitudes. In my 20's and 30's when my favorite team lost a game it ruined my day. I was so involved that I took it personally, even though it did not materially affect my day. I had to mentally remind myself "it's just a game" and almost militantly take myself to task to separate my emotions from it. I have seen it take hold of people and result in destructive behavior, either external or internal. 

I have seen it at international competitions, like the Olympics, where rooting for our own national teams takes priority and overshadows the appreciation for the skill and sportsmanship of others with whom we share this planet. We deprive ourselves and others in that way and do the sport a diservice.

But it is not just involved with sports.. I'd like to have you briefly consider two other arenas where competition can be destructive.  I  up grew up in a supportive family with supportive parents and siblings. I was the baby of the family, with four older sisters.  I am glad that my parents didn't play favorites, we were all treated with equal value. No one had to compete for our parent's love - it was given freely and without conditions. Our vacations each summer were a bonding experience and have resulted in annual family reunions that continued for 30 years only interrupted by last year's covid outbreak. I have known many people who did not have that and it makes me sad.

And  as a nation we also have another arena where competition has no place. That arena is healthcare. Having been a worker in the system for 30 years I have seen the set up and downfall of it and how it affects people. I work for a company that is dedicated to helping people get access to healthcare. But the overall system is based on competition -companies competing for members and so many rules on what is covered and how much. We are fortunate that the testing and vaccines have been covered at no cost, but it has people wondering why couldn't we have this apply to healthcare in general, so that people would not have to put off needed treatment due to either finances or rules.

We always do better when we cooperate as  people to solve problems. So don't get caught up in competition, winners versus losers. Let's seek to cooperate more, and all be winners.:)

The Power of Silence

People think that good communication is driven by making the right choice of words and the right way to speak them. They fail to realize that just as important is when not to speak. Silence is powerful. One of the ways we know that is through the elimination of filler words. Often speeches and ordinary daily communication is cluttered by filler words - like um, uh, so, and , you know, etc. We have a bad habit of inserting these in our sentences, often just to keep the train of conversation going. We may be afraid if we let up someone will take over the conversation. Or we think that if we pause we will risk looking lost or confused, unsure what to say. Actually when we take a pause our conversations and presentations become stronger because the words we say stand out and get delivered more forcefully.

Another way that silence is powerful is one that introverts know very well. Extroverts draw their energy from crowds and constant conversation and activity. Introverts, on the other hand, draw their energy from silence and solitude. We can engage in social activity just fine, but at some point we need to recharge and for that we need calm and silence, if for no other reason than to hear ourselves think.

Listening to yourself is a great practice - both body and mind. I find that my greatest time of re-energizing is taking a walk, preferably in nature. Many mornings I start out to a chorus of frogs, or hearing all the neighborhood birds greeting the dawn. I can observe so many things when I am quietly walking and my eyes and ears and mind are clear of distractions. 

Listening is another form of silence. To spend time with a loved one or friend and just listen to what they are saying. Sometimes we talk over each other, eager to share our experiences and thoughts and get so focused on ourselves that we forget to listen to each other. That takes some silence on our part. This is extremely important in dealing with helping someone going through grief, but it is also important in other situations. Remember that one way of showing interest and empathy is good eye contact, open ears, and closed lips. 

Someone once said that silence is golden. So true. So take time in the midst of conversation to breath and let the other person talk. It is said that God gave us two ears and one mouth and perhaps that means that we should listen twice as much as we talk. Just a thought

Less is More

 Less is more. We know the saying. Sometimes we think about diet - less calories gives more satisfaction and better health. But there is more than one way to think about that. I'd like us to consider 3 ways.

Less is more when we are deciding. Sometimes we tend to overthink situations and spend too much time and effort trying to fix or understand things, You may have heard about Occams\'s Razor - the idea that often the simplest and least complicated answer is correct. That is why I usually avoid and discount conspiracies - they are too complicated and subject to failing. I catch myself over analyzing and try to go with the simple answer. Less is more.

As many of us have noticed during our covid home bound times that we have a lot of clutter. To downsize we need to remember that less is more. We often keep too much stuff, or more than we need of any one thing, yet have trouble getting rid of extra, keeping only that which, as an expert states - gives us joy. Less is more

And thirdly, we often have a habit of trying too hard to help in time of need for those going through grief, either lose of loved one or other grief bringing experiences. We try to use our words to "help" when what they really need is our presence and acceptance that they are grieving. Sharing similar experiences, saying things will get better, or highlighting the good things going on  don't help. Let your words be few, let them be the type of "I'm sorry for your loss", "I care", or simply "I'm here", and then be there.

remember - Less is More