Joy

 The last of the Rules of the Road by Pete Buttigieg is Joy. At first that might seem an odd choice after qualities like Respect and Truth and Discipline. Those seem to be habits that we develop to make us more efficient and trusted. And joy is often dismissed as just a feeling, and emotion that is a luxury, not an essential.

But that could not be further from the truth. As kids we would say "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" It is a bit trite and a cliche, but remember that a cliche is a truth that is way overused and becomes dull. For our own mental health we need to have light moments in our lives - comic relief. And the same goes for joy. While we are dealing with serious matters we need to remember to have fun - or at least try to have fun. 

So what is joy? And how is it different from happiness? Happiness comes from happening. Things will happen to us that make us happy. Depending on the circumstances it may be short-lived or longer-lasting. It is dependent on what happens to us. Joy is a choice. We choose how we look at life, how we view the events that happen to us. It is controlling how we approach all those things we cannot control.

Like the old dichotomy of glass half full glass half empty. It is the third view - there is a glass and we can drink it or fill it up with more. Sometimes it is seen in gallows humor - any day I am vertical is a good day. Or TGIF - thank goodness it's Friday.

But it is also something that can color our day and make work less like work. It is related somewhat to passion. There is knowing we need to do something and then there is wanting to do it.  Desire is important. It drives our efforts. And joy is the same way. What good is finishing a project if you can't experience some satisfaction, some joy, in it?

In the midst of sorrow, pain, suffering, and defeat, let joy drive our sails to victory. And don't forget to let it out. As the old saying goes, if you're happy and you know it, don't forget to tell your face.

Excellence

 

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. No, Princess Bride fans, the word is not “inconceivable”.  The word is excellence. In our hyper competitive world most people would think it means winning. And oh, don’t we all like winning? But think about the Olympic medal podiums. There are three places to stand, one for the gold medal winner, one for the silver medal winner, and one for the bronze medal winner. The gold medal winner gets the most attention, and we say they excelled and showed excellence. But all three were excellent. They all gave it their best effort, even though just one got the gold.

That my friend is what excellence means – giving it your all, doing the best you can do. Striving to use all that life and biology has given you and achieving what is in your reach. And encouraging others to do the same. And not comparing yourself to others. You don’t compete with others but rather you compete with yourself. It is not a call to leap ahead but to take regular steps forward.

Different people learn, grow, achieve at different rates and in different circumstances. I know of a couple people who worked hard in school. One worked her tail off and got C’s. The other who was capable of A’s sometimes slacked and got some B’s. so who excelled, the one who got B’s or the one who got C’s. In this case the one who excelled was the one who got C’s.

Excellence is one of the core values of Toastmasters. Respect, Integrity, Service, and Excellence. While we do have contests -just finished one season -the real emphasis is to steadily improve our speaking and leadership skills. Everyone has their first time speaking in public and everyone has a different learning curve. But we all strive to do our best. That is what excellence means.

Discipline

 Discipline can get a bad rap. Memories of growing up and having discipline "administered" at home and at school. Depending on how far you stretched yourself in yearning for independence and how strict your parents and teachers were you might have had more or less desire to remember those memories. Those who have gone through military training probably also have less than fond memories associated with discipline. 

But at the core discipline is learning to navigate life successfully in order to avoid unnecessary negative consequences and to gain positive results. Like in a game where rules are intended to keep the action running smoothly and to avoid harm to all players. 

And those who are wise will engage in self-discipline, being self aware and choosing to follow sane rules. Like looking both ways before crossing a busy street, thinking before you speak, or just saying please and thank you. It doesn't mean that we are driven by do's and don'ts, slavishly adhering to somebody else's guidelines. It means that we learn the wisdom of following accepted rules of conduct and procedure, knowing when and where to diverge from well worn paths.

A good example in my daily life is in Toastmaster meetings. There are certain expectations, like being polite, not interrupting, being prepared to share, and most of all beginning and ending on time. Toastmasters are very flexible, but time management is one of the key disciplines of every meeting. It is for the benefit of all, so it is agreed upon by all. 

I am sure that during the campaign Pete (Buttigieg) and his staff were very cognizant of the need for discipline, with all the meetings and travel, speeches and needed R&R. That is why it is included in his Rules of the Road. And I think that even though we aren't involved in such a large endeavor that it would do us well to exercise that self discipline as well.

Words of substance

 Have you ever listened to someone who could talk forever and yet never really say anything? Isn't that tiring? Or on the other hand have you ever been blown away by someone who used few words but expressed profound thoughts? I think we can all think of those times. I am reminded of the comments on the speakers at the dedication of the battlefield at Gettysburg. The main speaker, Edward Everett, was considered the greatest speaker of his day. He spoke for over 2 hours and not much is remembered of what he spoke. President Abraham Lincoln spoke for only 2 minutes and yet over 150 years later his speech is repeated in every school in the land and celebrated as an example of brevity and eloquence.

How do you use your words. Small talk and humor are important parts of our conversation, but there are serious issues that need discussion and we have an obligation to speak up and speak out. Speaking truth to power is not just for the journalists and political leaders. Not just for the preacher and celebrity. It is for all of us. The problems of today will not be alleviated by gabfests, but by heart to heart exchanges of substance. 

This is another of Pete Buttigieg's rules of the road -a guide to political activism, to help us all make an impact on our society and work for the betterment of our country and our world. Tune in tomorrow for more.

More than just personal responsibility

When many people think about the word responsibility they focus solely on personal responsibility 

They say that in our individualized society people need to take personal responsibility for their actions and not rely on others - government or church or society at large to bail them out when they encounter hard times. And while it is certainly important to take personal responsibility for our own actions, especially in preparing for possible unpleasant surprises, looking at it purely on that level is at best short-sighted.

Responsibility encompasses several levels. When you were aa child your parents probably held you partly responsible for the upkeep of your home. They would say things like "clean up your room", "make your bed", and they might assign you chores. Mine was mowing the lawn -ours was about a half and acre- not my favorite task. Your actions reflected positively or negatively on the family.

If you are married you have a responsibility to your spouse, even if you don't have children. You need to treat him or her with respect, love, and honor. You can't just be concerned with  yourself. And if you have children that adds a level of responsibility. You are held responsible for their welfare. 

When at work you are responsible for making sure your conduct reflects well on the company. You are a representative of the company. That was a lesson I learned well during my days - and nights - aas a radio announcer. With my choice of music, with my words on the air, how I responded when the phone rang - never knowing what kind of caller it would be, I was representing the station. It didn't matter that often calls might come at the worst possible time. When I picked up the phone I knew it was not me they were calling, but the station and I was speaking for it,

These are pretty well known and accepted aspects of responsibility. But there is another aspect of responsibility that has been shunned or devalued by many. It is a sense of societal/global responsibility. To care for others around us who may not be as fortunate as us. Some may also not have been so wise and fallen on hard times. Whether due to poor decisions or unforseen calamities, it is imperative that we take time to reach out and help. And helping out the less fortunate in our society helps us all. Who knows when we might need a helping hand. And despite the myth of the self-made individual we all stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us.

As the poet John Donne said "no man is an island, entire of himself.  For we are all a part of the whole". 

boldness

 Boldness is the willingness to take risks and act innovatively, to act with confidence or courage. This is a characteristic that is very much needed today.  There are many people who know what is right but they are afraid of taking action to stand for what is right and to oppose what is wrong. We have seen in our nation people unwilling to stand for truth - instead they fall for lies. Even when the truth is clear for all to see. For instance just this week a congressman state that  January 6th riots were just a normal Capitol Hill tourist visit. Despite overwhelming photo and video evidence to the contrary, he persisted in the lie. 

I believe one reason that there was a trial of George Floyd's murderer, let alone a guilty verdict, was due to the outpouring of protest by people who risked getting covid in order to speak out against injustice. They marched by the thousands in the streets all across America, because it was the right thing to do, because they could not turn away and ignore it. May their tribe increase.

There are two aspects of this. One is to speak out against evil. The other is to boldly stand out in support of what is right. To have a vision of what could be, how we could transform our society and our environment and take action to make those dreams reality. To break away from the status quo and seek to grow. That is what happened in the 1960's. People were emboldened to work for change, to break away from the status quo. It didn't all work, but there was tremendous change. Just look at the Voting Rights Act , the Civil Rights Act, Medicare and Medicaid, and men on the moon.

The first step is to believe that your voice matters, then take the risk to act and encourage others to follow you. One person can make a difference, especially if they get others to follow. Be Bold.

Teamwork

 You know the old saying "there is no I in team". Trite but true. Sometimes as Americans we focus so much on individual rights and freedoms that we forget that community and the common good is also important and vital to a healthy environment. And sometimes we think that we can do it all on our own - the self-made man/person myth. We either get burned out by trying to do it all, or we isolate ourselves by thinking just in terms of what is best for us. 

Now individual liberty and rights are important, don't get me wrong. I guess what is important to remember that just as defending our individual rights is important it is also important to defend the individual rights of others. To use another well used phrase - "your freedom to swing your fist ends at the other person's nose'. Rights are not in isolation. They are meant to bring freedom for all, not just a few.

And in terms of projects, whether work, home, or elsewhere - like Toastmasters - doing things as a team lightens the load and multiplies the strengths of all to achieve results. Brainstorming, for instance, helps the creative process, since one person alone may not come up with the best solution to a problem. We learn from each other. And delegation helps to achieve success with less stress on individuals -"the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" - as the Greek philosopher Aristotle observed.

To be truly effective in teamwork we need effective leaders, not simply managers of course, But in this very competitive society, where we often focus on winners and losers we need to exercise more cooperation and focus on teamwork ,where everybody wins. Go Team!:)