Don't wait

 The troubles with New Year's resolutions are many. Oftentimes they are built on guilt. They start with "I should start (or end) this practice".  You feel you should do something, or stop doing something. Not necessarily what you want to do. And they are based on starting on a certain date, and extending throughout the year. You feel as if you must do this thing every day, and if you miss a day you have failed. It's not as if being successful a high percentage of the time is okay. It is all or nothing - either you are perfect or it is a waste. It is not a good model for success. And the build up to the start date - New Year's - is stressful - like running a race. You can't start a new year's practice on January 2nd or 3rd. And you can't get a head start on December 30th or 31st. That just won't do. So most people either make new year's resolutions, work at it a few days and quit. Or they don't make new year's resolutions at all- and also don't make plans to improve their lives at all.

I think we need a different model. One that recognizes that it usually takes about 30 days to make a significant change. One that focuses on what we really want to do. And one that doesn't wait for a certain date to begin, but just does it now. If you really believe that some change in your life needs to happen, and that changing a specific behavior will help, why not just start doing it now?  Recently I went to the doctor for my annual physical. One of the issues I have is diabetes and my blood sugar numbers were high. I had been pretty regular in the past few years since being diagnosed, but during the pandemic I had gotten lax and also had some interruptions in prescription delivery and wasn't checking my numbers regularly. 

I knew that I needed to confront this and take corrective action- which my doctor recommended I do. I got the testing equipment squared away and my prescriptions fully filled. I restarted a practice that I had done before - regular testing in the morning, so I knew what my daily numbers were. And I started keeping track of numbers and what I ate on a daily basis, in a handy little notebook I carried with me. As a result I saw my numbers going down and could see why - and if my numbers were higher one day I could see why from what I had eaten.  My doctor was glad, and so was I. I established a good routine. And it was built on just doing it, not waiting for some special date.

So, for this coming year I urge you to embrace change. Don't wait till New Year's day to make some vague "resolution". Don't succumb to guilt. Find a vision of what changes you would really like to make this year, what actions that will take you to places you want to go, who you want to be. And start living that vision today.  Don't Wait.

Unconditional Love

 This past Wednesday I remembered my Mom on what would have been her 104th birthday.

She's  been gone for over 40 years, but the lessons she taught me, and the example of unconditional love resonates with me still. Especially in these days when hate and division are so evident and troubling.

Her guiding principle was to inclusion - accepting everyone and anyone, regardless of who they were, where they were from or how different they might be from you. She had a real sense of responsibility for the common good -to help wherever and whenever she could regardless of how it might affect her.

A couple examples come to mind: Once when I was a teenager there came up the issue of school levies being voted down. We were living in Glendale, Arizona and the schools were always in need of more funds to improve the schools for the families (some middle class and some lower class economically) who had kids. Unfortunately our school district also included the Sun City retirement community, where the residency required age 55 and over, so none of those residents had school age kids. And the general attitude was " I raised my kids already, I shouldn't have to pay for others' kids".

My mom was appalled. She had raised 5 of us kids - I was almost out of the house and off to college, my sisters were all out of the house, so she had no kids in the schools. And yet she felt that providing education for those school kids was a community responsibility. She and my dad were old enough to qualify for residency in Sun City and yet she would not have lived there.. She loved kids, taught kids, and fought for them to be able to get quality education. She was thrilled when Sun City was separated from the Glendale school district and the school levies were finally passed.

Another example came much earlier. My sisters and I were all raised in Portland, Oregon. And we attended a local conservative Baptist church. Our family was much involved in the church, my mom as a teacher and choir member, my dad working with the summer camping program. The church had missionary outreaches to Africa, specifically Cameroon. It was a good church and very supportive of those efforts. But then there was a time when one of the local pastors there visited our church.

My mom overheard some women discussing the presence of the African pastor in the services - in a negative manner. She was appalled and upset at their obvious double standard and discrimination. Oh, it was okay to help churches in Africa, but heaven forbid they visit us! My mom reached out to our visitors and welcomed them. 

For these reasons and many more examples I believe that my mom (and my dad too) would be appalled at the racism and other demeaning accusations thrown around to describe people, communities, and countries today. I don't think that we would always see eye to eye on every issue, but I know that our discussions, and her discussions with others, even with those she disagreed with, would be civil , respectful and rational. And that in all things she would strive to display love and acceptance to all.

She raised me and my sisters that way and we strive to live it out every day. She "practiced what she preached". No matter what I believe that is what we are called to do. Yes, speak up,, speak truth to power, denounce the hateful words. But at the same time treat others as you would want to be treated, with unconditional love..

remember Labor Day

 We are all grateful for holidays, and that most of them are on mondays so we get a 3-day weekend. 

However most of the time we view them only as time off or time for "holiday sales". and we forget the reasons that they are there. And some of them, like Veterans Day, aren't even a paid holiday for everyone.

We tend to see some, like Memorial Day and today, Labor Day, as seasonal markers, rather than what they were originally meant for. Memorial Day, seen as the beginning of summer, was originally set aside as a day for remembering and memorializing those who died in military service of our country, just as Veterans Day (which often is not given as a standard day off for most workers), was set aside to remember all those who served their country in the military. I have family recognized on each day. 

Labor Day, today, was established not as an end to summer, but as a day to remember all who labor and the gains that we all owe to the labor movement in this country. To those who organized, protested dangerous working conditions, and worked hard to change our workplaces for the better. Eight hour days, 40 hr weeks, paid overtime,, the elimination of child labor, workplace safety, and the ability of workers to organize in unions to collectively bargain for better working conditions and improved compensation for their hard labor are just a few of the benefits we have today because of the labor of others who have gone before.

And they persevered, despite harsh resistance from business owners and even government at times. They persevered in the face of government raids, accusations of being unpatriotic and subversive, and other attempts by business to organize against them. They persisted and we need to honor them for it.

So today, as on other holidays, while you are relaxing and enjoying having the day off, remember those who made this day possible and keep vigilant to not let their sacrifices be in vain. Remember especially that you only have any holidays (and paid ones at that) because of what labor organizers have done.

Remember to move your feet

Do you practice what you preach? Talk is cheap, real change costs us in time, effort, and heart.

“I don’t know” – it may be true and it is good to admit instead of trying to create an explanation. But when you really do know, you should say it. Speak the truth instead of trying to hide behind ignorance. I have noticed that lately from officials trying to escape responsibility.

“I’m sorry”…..oh, are you sorry for the wrong that you’ve done, or because you were caught red-handed? It is only as you attempt restitution, express remorse, or turn around (repent) and start doing the right things, that you demonstrate the reality of your apology.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with you”…nice sentiment and comforting words, but have you attempted to really help? If you have the ability to do something to alleviate suffering, prevent further harm, or build a strong foundation to help improve others conditions, then your prayers and thoughts are empty words. You need to put feet to your prayers and quit uttering pious pronouncements.

As the late John Lewis used to say, quoting the African proverb –“when you pray, move your feet”

Bunny counts

 In our confused, contentious, crazy world, it is easy to lose sight of things that are important.

Often we have plenty of people who tell us what we should be paying attention to, and many times they are right. The problem is that we get stressed out, from the seriousness, the multiplicity, and the seeming powerlessness of we common folk to actively affect the outcome of the battles we see all around us. 

Whether it is the covid-19 virus, the racial tensions, or a government that is seemingly unresponsive or worse yet, hostile to our cries for  help in the many crises we face, it all gets to be a bit overwhelming. We all need a break sometimes. No relationship can survive only concentrating on serious matters. My wife and I can be very serious, but we also have a lot of fun. And when all seems dark we need to see the sun breaks. They are often right in front of our faces.

An example for me is my morning walks. Because I work from home daily I could literally jump out of bed and logon to my computer and begin work. I don't because even though I am a life-long early bird (just ask my sisters), I need to get my eyes clear and my mind prepared for the day. And I need the exercise as well. So every day I walk around my neighborhood for 30-45 minutes. I give myself pep talks and remind myself of what I am grateful for specifically.. And I breathe deeply the surrounding green, savor the rain when it falls, and observe the local creatures.

We have plenty of crows, jays, robins, and ducks that fly to and fro, with many different voices. We have squirrels, an occasional raccoon. But my favorite are the local wild rabbits.

I am surprised many times when they dart out from the bush, or I come across them munching the grass beside the sidewalks and trails I travel. I recently discovered we have a local garden by a nearby church that was set up to help people grow their own vegetables during the virus isolation time. That may explain some of the bunny sightings, eh?  Anyway I pay attention , and take pictures, of the local inhabitants. And I often count how many I see on my walks. Sometimes just 1 or 2, a few times up to 9 or 10, and sometimes none at all -like today:(. 

It is a good reminder that life goes on all around us. It gives balance to our lives, helping us weather the storms of life. Kind of like taking a deep breath. So as you do daily battle and stand up for what is right, remember not only to "stop and smell the roses along the way", but also take a "bunny count" - and don't forget to chomp your own carrots:)

Don't be Colorblind

In response to questions about racial inequality many are tempted to say

“ I don’t see color, I view everyone as equal” or “I’m colorblind”

To some that might seem okay, but there are hidden dangers with that approach and there are 3 specific problems.

One is that in reality you are not colorblind – unless you have a vision test that determines your eyes are malfunctioning. And that only means you have trouble distinguishing the red/yellow/green of the stoplights. Everyone notices color differences, as well as other racial/ethnic physical differences. It is as clear as we determine gender differences or height/weight, etc. To say we don’t observe those is just being dishonest. It isn’t wrong to see differences, it is how we react to those differences. And to state that we “don’t see color” is to say we see equality as everyone being like us, not as truly equal as they are.

The second problem with “colorblind” is that it ignores the obvious inequality of background, history, and what different people have had to struggle with in their lives. My wife and I share a lot in common, but we differ greatly in family background – her parents were divorced when she was just 5, my parents were married for 36 years (death do them part) until my mom passed away. That made our growing up time very different. I have several great-nieces and great nephews who are biracial. Their life experiences have been widely different than mine. I will never have to suffer getting profiled or judged wrongly  based on appearance,  but they have had to deal with that all their lives. For me to say I am colorblind is to deny those experiences. And to excuse not extending help in overcoming that obvious bias.

The third problem is a little bit more subtle. I think a lot of people are afraid of diversity and “colorblind” is a way for them to pretend those don’t exist – there is safety in thinking those others are just like us. But those who we see as different have had different experiences, they’re not just like us – and that is okay. Because if you accept and appreciate another’s life experiences you expand your own experience. And you have the opportunity to not just give help, but receive help.

You have the opportunity to bond and grow.

I have learned much over the years as I have embraced diversity. My mom raised me to accept people as equals, no matter who they were, where they were from, no matter how different they appeared to me. And I try to live that out every day.

I am not colorblind, and neither should you. Seeing differences does not diminish the basic equality of value that we ascribe to all.

the power of symbolism

Today is Bastille Day, a national day of celebration for the French. A pivotal day in the history of the country and a beginning of the road to the downfall of the monarchy and the long, lurching road to democracy. And yet in reality not much really happened. Bastille Day is named for the hated French prison is Paris and it was "stormed" that day and "liberated". But did you know that there was only one prisoner in the whole place? I guess you could say that it was the flash of a match that lit the fire of revolution. The whole French Revolution was quite unlike our own- very violent and wide swings of power. Many of the movers and shakers ended up dying at the hands of  the Revolution they created. And it was decades of back and forth between Republic and restored Monarchy before France settled on the organized parliamentary system and multi-party arrangement they have now.
But the symbolism of Bastille Day drove them on.

So too is the Emancipation Proclamation in US History. We mark  it as the first real shot in tackling slavery and yet when it was issued in 1962 it didn't free a single slave. It proclaimed liberty to all slaves residing in the rebelling Confederate states, over which the Union did not exercise control, and said nothing about slaves living in the Union or non-rebelling states. It wasn't until the 13th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified in December of 1865 that any slaves north of the Mason-Dixon line were freed. And the importance of Juneteenth, June 19th 1865, was that on that date all the slaves in the South had finally heard the news of the Proclamation and knew that they were legally free, because the South had been occupied by Union troops and could enforce the decree of liberty.

But the power of symbolism was important for both events. It drove people's actions - as the Union Army drove further into the South, slaves knew that they could be free if they only could get across the battle lines to Union-controlled territory. And the fall of the Bastille drove the French to firmly put an end to the grip of the monarchy.

Don't overlook the power of symbols. Use them to drive action. History is replete with examples of their power.