Words of substance

 Have you ever listened to someone who could talk forever and yet never really say anything? Isn't that tiring? Or on the other hand have you ever been blown away by someone who used few words but expressed profound thoughts? I think we can all think of those times. I am reminded of the comments on the speakers at the dedication of the battlefield at Gettysburg. The main speaker, Edward Everett, was considered the greatest speaker of his day. He spoke for over 2 hours and not much is remembered of what he spoke. President Abraham Lincoln spoke for only 2 minutes and yet over 150 years later his speech is repeated in every school in the land and celebrated as an example of brevity and eloquence.

How do you use your words. Small talk and humor are important parts of our conversation, but there are serious issues that need discussion and we have an obligation to speak up and speak out. Speaking truth to power is not just for the journalists and political leaders. Not just for the preacher and celebrity. It is for all of us. The problems of today will not be alleviated by gabfests, but by heart to heart exchanges of substance. 

This is another of Pete Buttigieg's rules of the road -a guide to political activism, to help us all make an impact on our society and work for the betterment of our country and our world. Tune in tomorrow for more.

More than just personal responsibility

When many people think about the word responsibility they focus solely on personal responsibility 

They say that in our individualized society people need to take personal responsibility for their actions and not rely on others - government or church or society at large to bail them out when they encounter hard times. And while it is certainly important to take personal responsibility for our own actions, especially in preparing for possible unpleasant surprises, looking at it purely on that level is at best short-sighted.

Responsibility encompasses several levels. When you were aa child your parents probably held you partly responsible for the upkeep of your home. They would say things like "clean up your room", "make your bed", and they might assign you chores. Mine was mowing the lawn -ours was about a half and acre- not my favorite task. Your actions reflected positively or negatively on the family.

If you are married you have a responsibility to your spouse, even if you don't have children. You need to treat him or her with respect, love, and honor. You can't just be concerned with  yourself. And if you have children that adds a level of responsibility. You are held responsible for their welfare. 

When at work you are responsible for making sure your conduct reflects well on the company. You are a representative of the company. That was a lesson I learned well during my days - and nights - aas a radio announcer. With my choice of music, with my words on the air, how I responded when the phone rang - never knowing what kind of caller it would be, I was representing the station. It didn't matter that often calls might come at the worst possible time. When I picked up the phone I knew it was not me they were calling, but the station and I was speaking for it,

These are pretty well known and accepted aspects of responsibility. But there is another aspect of responsibility that has been shunned or devalued by many. It is a sense of societal/global responsibility. To care for others around us who may not be as fortunate as us. Some may also not have been so wise and fallen on hard times. Whether due to poor decisions or unforseen calamities, it is imperative that we take time to reach out and help. And helping out the less fortunate in our society helps us all. Who knows when we might need a helping hand. And despite the myth of the self-made individual we all stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us.

As the poet John Donne said "no man is an island, entire of himself.  For we are all a part of the whole". 

boldness

 Boldness is the willingness to take risks and act innovatively, to act with confidence or courage. This is a characteristic that is very much needed today.  There are many people who know what is right but they are afraid of taking action to stand for what is right and to oppose what is wrong. We have seen in our nation people unwilling to stand for truth - instead they fall for lies. Even when the truth is clear for all to see. For instance just this week a congressman state that  January 6th riots were just a normal Capitol Hill tourist visit. Despite overwhelming photo and video evidence to the contrary, he persisted in the lie. 

I believe one reason that there was a trial of George Floyd's murderer, let alone a guilty verdict, was due to the outpouring of protest by people who risked getting covid in order to speak out against injustice. They marched by the thousands in the streets all across America, because it was the right thing to do, because they could not turn away and ignore it. May their tribe increase.

There are two aspects of this. One is to speak out against evil. The other is to boldly stand out in support of what is right. To have a vision of what could be, how we could transform our society and our environment and take action to make those dreams reality. To break away from the status quo and seek to grow. That is what happened in the 1960's. People were emboldened to work for change, to break away from the status quo. It didn't all work, but there was tremendous change. Just look at the Voting Rights Act , the Civil Rights Act, Medicare and Medicaid, and men on the moon.

The first step is to believe that your voice matters, then take the risk to act and encourage others to follow you. One person can make a difference, especially if they get others to follow. Be Bold.

Teamwork

 You know the old saying "there is no I in team". Trite but true. Sometimes as Americans we focus so much on individual rights and freedoms that we forget that community and the common good is also important and vital to a healthy environment. And sometimes we think that we can do it all on our own - the self-made man/person myth. We either get burned out by trying to do it all, or we isolate ourselves by thinking just in terms of what is best for us. 

Now individual liberty and rights are important, don't get me wrong. I guess what is important to remember that just as defending our individual rights is important it is also important to defend the individual rights of others. To use another well used phrase - "your freedom to swing your fist ends at the other person's nose'. Rights are not in isolation. They are meant to bring freedom for all, not just a few.

And in terms of projects, whether work, home, or elsewhere - like Toastmasters - doing things as a team lightens the load and multiplies the strengths of all to achieve results. Brainstorming, for instance, helps the creative process, since one person alone may not come up with the best solution to a problem. We learn from each other. And delegation helps to achieve success with less stress on individuals -"the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" - as the Greek philosopher Aristotle observed.

To be truly effective in teamwork we need effective leaders, not simply managers of course, But in this very competitive society, where we often focus on winners and losers we need to exercise more cooperation and focus on teamwork ,where everybody wins. Go Team!:)

Truth

 "Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" That is the question that all witnesses in a trial have to swear to before they give testimony. In these past few years aren't there people you would love to see on the witness stand have to swear to that - and face perjury charges if they strayed from it.? I have a few in mind, and I bet you do to.

Why is the oath written that way? Because adding or subtracting from the whole truth is lying as much as telling a full fledged lie. Withholding information or mixing truth and falsehood is misrepresenting the true situation and can complicate or prevent solutions. And it is true that telling a lie many time doesn't make it true, nor does the amount of people who believe the lie, make it true. 

Now people may have differing opinions about facts, figures, people, events, etc. That is certainly up for discussion. But the truth of a matter is not. As someone famously said , you do have the right to your own opinion, but you do not have the right to your own facts. In work, at home, in any endeavor, especially working on a team, an adherence to truth is important. It builds trust, and teamwork - the next of the rules of the road.

belonging

A sense of belonging is not just a desirable trait - to have and to give. It is a very necessary part of life. Abraham Maslow, in his hierarchy of needs, places it just above security and safety needs. It isn't one of those "how long can you live without..." needs, nor is it a security concern. But it is vital to the quality of life. You can't just exist - that isn't living.

When people were asked what they missed most during the pandemic of 2020, the most frequent answer was "hugs". We were still connected via zoom, phone, email, etc. But what was missing was the physical touch - for obvious reasons. Smile were seen only through the eyes. Handshakes were replaced by fist and elbow bumps. We had communication but sometimes we lacked connection. 

Families had to avoid large gatherings. We didn't have our annual family campout at the beach last year, partly because of the large gathering shutdowns, but also because the campgrounds were closed. After over 30 years of doing it every year that was a big loss. Singles had it rougher because they were more isolated. At least for couples, like my wife and I, we had each other and though we were largely stuck at home, we share the same space and the same hugs.

Though the expressions of love and belonging are much easier with physical contact, don't let that be a barrier. Be open to others and demonstrate your concern in both word and deed. Let them know that you care and that they belong. And let yourself be open to realize that you belong - open your ears and eyes to those around you as they reach out to you. 

We all need belonging and that is why it is one of the Rules of the Road.

Respect

 "Respect your elders" we were always told when we were children. Funny that now many of us are "elders" and look to get respect. We tend to think of respect as something we need to show towards those in authority, due to their position of responsibility. We think of the definition that says  respect is "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Those in positions of authority, and those who support them, cite this as deferring to their direction. Unfortunately often we have to respect the office since we can't always respect the occupant of it - like some recent political examples.

 But we also need to show it to others around us at the same level. One definition of respect is "due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others". This is a more mutual action. Respect for others works both ways and is a community building process. We need to be treating each other with respect, just for who we are. 

Respect does not mean always agreeing with either the other person or their ideas or stands on issues. Respect does not mean overlooking faults or failing to call out misdeeds. But it means that we treat others the way that we would want to be treated, and being an advocate for the growth of everyone. Respect means that no matter who we are, where we are from, or what our differing backgrounds are, we accept each other just as we are - fallible human beings. 

It is vital for team building, in every aspect of life, not just politics. Rule #1 of the Rules of the Road.