Use your thinking cap

 When you read or listen to news do you have your thinking cap on? Or are you accept unquestioningly whatever comes to you by ear or eye? I fear for most it is the latter. It's not that people are purposefully deceptive or incompetent - though some are. But communication is a two part process. Those who listen or read must carefully evaluate what is being said or written so that true education is taking place.

Let me give you an example. Recently Fox News reported that a poll they had conducted on immigration showed that 46% of respondents believed that border security was worse now under Biden than under Trump. On the surface this is not good news. However there are serious issues with the news, and the source of the poll is not the major problem.

For one thing this is an opinion poll, not a research paper. It is subjective, not objective. Likely most of the respondents do not live in border states, let alone not in border communities. They have at best second or third hand information on border conditions. Any poll is just a snapshot of people's opinion on situations not an ongoing study of conditions. 

Also, the accuracy of polls is dependent on many factors, such as the way questions are asked, how the respondents are reached, what is the sample size, etc. It also is dependent on the purpose of the poll -what is it being used for? Unconscious bias can creep into any poll, even among the best of pollsters. And how specific are the questions - security worse - how so? Does not sound like a question that comes with a grade scale.

If one is really interested in the immigration/border situation it would be more helpful to communicate with those who handle those issues - border patrol, local border community leadership, immigration lawyers and courts, etc. Those who have the facts, not just opinion. To me it is very important for folks to understand not only what is going on, but the framework of the current immigration system. You might be surprised.

And, as always, ask questions to check the validity of information, don't just swallow it whole. As Joe Friday used to say "just the facts, ma'am"

Book love

 Do you remember some of those odd job interview questions? The behavioral questions, non- traditional ones that are aimed at revealing your personality and how you would fit into their team? I have a curious mind and would like to ask you one of those for feedback purposes. I find it fascinating what people read, because I tend to read most anything, and often work my way through multiple books at once, at various rates of speed and duration. I read to discover, to grow, to challenge myself, to relax and entertain.

So, what was the last book you read and what did you learn from it? It can be any type, any genre, fiction or non-fiction, new or older. A brief response, whether it appealed on the gut level or blowing mind level.

I am wondering if people have been reading these and trying unsuccessfully to post comments. I am curious and this is one way to test the notion. If you try to post a reply and are unable to, could you do me a favor and let me know? I would like to see if it is a trend, one that I will endeavor to fix. Please comment on the Facebook post I will link this to.   That way either I will see your post on the blog or on Facebook. 

I would like this to be a conversation.

Thanks:)

Bob

Assumptions and expectations

Expectations and assumptions go together and both can lead to trouble. Part of the problem is that we all come from different experiences and patterns of behavioral upbringing and we often fail to take that into account. We see our experiences as normative and everything else as out of the norm. It can be as simple as reading a set of rules and what do you do with things that are not spelled out. Kind of like the glass half full/glass half empty. Some will say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can do something, you can't. While others , myself included, say that if the rules don't specifically state that you can't do something , means you can.  

We make assumptions based on our own experience - everyone should know what we know, everyone should have the same reactions we do. But everyone comes from their own experiences and may react differently. I have to watch myself on that at times. 

At a recent Toastmaster contest there was new person serving as toastmaster, basically the emcee of the event. Prior to the event there are briefings for all the participants. The judges, ballot counters, and the timers are briefed by the chief judge, and the contestants are briefed by the toastmaster. The reason is the toastmaster is the one who introduces the contestants when they speak and interviews them after they all speak, so it makes sense for the toastmaster to brief them on the rules and procedures of the contest. The problem  in this contest was that our toastmaster was a relative newbie to contests and he made the assumption that I, as chief judge, would be briefing everyone. 

Fortunately we discovered this in the dry run (practice) for the contest and not at the event itself. But often in life we make assumptions or have expectations in situations that end badly. It is wise to be open to others experiences and not prejudge the situation. 

There is one case where I believe we should use assumptions and expectations - in a very positive way. I believe, as my mother taught me, that we should expect the best of everyone. Not demanding the best, but be expecting the best from everyone. Not prejudge someone before they have had a chance to make that first impression. And as I have heard from others - assume positive intent. Assume that someone means well and has no negative intent by their words or their actions. They may not turn out that way but we should go into every interaction with that mindset. 

Drinking horses

 "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". We all know the saying. Despite our best efforts to change something or someone, there are still things out of our control. We can't guarantee success. It can be said with resignation - I did all I could do:(...But sometimes we use it as an excuse for lack of effort. I think we need to rethink common sayings like this and we might just find some insight that will guide us to success.

One thing to ask ourselves "did we lead that horse to water?". Or did we just assume he wouldn't drink so we didn't bother. Visibility and awareness can be assumed, but not realized. It is not only the proximity of the horse to water that is important, but also - is the horse thirsty? If they aren't they won't drink. So maybe we need to make sure when we are leading the horse to that water that they are thirsty. And we can help that along if we put a salt lick by the trough - encourage thirst.

If we think about it we might ask - 'what does the horse want?'. Maybe they are hungry and need grain not water. Maybe they are tired and need a rest Maybe they are bored and feel like running. All of those things might discourage them from drinking the water. It might not be (as we tend to think) that they are stubborn. 

So when you are frustrated because you aren't getting the outcome you want for your efforts, do a deeper dive into the situation, question your assumptions and gain a new perspective on the problem. You might find a way around the blockage.

Opportunity knocks- are you listening?

We are all familiar with needing to be prepared for unexpected bad things happening. Earthquakes, hurricanes, fires, weather related flooding, etc. We make up emergency kits, have plans of who to call and where to go. And in cases of personal emergencies, weather health related or otherwise, we make plans.

But what about the unexpected good? Are we prepared to take advantage of good fortune- especially opportunities for us to expand our horizons and try new things? There is a chance we may miss out on those opportunities if aren't prepared. How do we prepare? I have a 5-point plan.

One, we must know ourselves and our capacity to take advantage of opportunities. How much time and energy do we have at our disposal. How much give room do we have in our schedules? Could we realistically take on a new project? Two, what kind of skills and experience do we have to tackle a project.

Three, what is our comfort level and how much do we want to stretch? For instance, if I were offered the opportunity to take a trip to New Zealand, as long as the funds were there I would have no hesitation. However if I were offered, at no cost to me, a chance to skydive, I would refuse. No amount of money would induce me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. I get my thrills in more sedate ways, though I have friends who would and have 'jumped' at the chance. We all have our own comfort zones.

Closely related to that is 'what do you want to do?" We have our different interests, passions, dreams. Things that appeal to me might not appeal to you. We have to know ourselves in advance so when the opportunities arise we can decide quickly whether or not it is for us. Many things that come our way have no appeal.

And finally we have to remain aware of sources where we might find opportunity. If we know what we are looking for we can direct our attention to those sources. One of my regular activities is Toastmasters and outside of my local club there often come up opportunities to speak in clubs around the country and the world. I have seen many lately and determined that I should make sure I am ready to take advantage of those. 

When opportunity knocks make sure you are ready. Surprises can be positive, you know.

Goodbye to superheroes

 There are times in our lives that we need to get away, physically and mentally, sometimes emotionally, from the stress of everyday life. We use many means to do this, two of my favorites are books and movies. To delve into another world allows me to take a breather and reset. Some people do that to excess and it can be detrimental, not only to themselves but to others. 

I do not begrudge anyone their escape, and realize that different people have different tastes, and may be in a different phase in their lives. I have gone through phase changes in life and left a lot of things behind as well as adopted different attitudes. One of the most recent was on superheroes in general, and one in particular. Captain America.

Captain America is sort of a quasi -superhero. Yes, he got injected with a serum that vastly increased his strength and confidence, plus adding a very powerful weapon to his arsenal (his shield), but he wasn't in Superman or Hulk category. I read comics as a kid and enjoyed superhero movies. But something dawned on me when I watched his origin movie. I was troubled by it.

My ancestral history has something to do with it. My great-grandfather (mom's side) fought with the Union Army in the Civil War, including service with the Vermont 14th Brigade at Gettysburg, on Cemetery Ridge resisting the last Confederate charge. My grandfather (father's side) served with the AEF (American Expeditionary Force) in Europe during WWI. And my uncle (mom's brother) died preparing pilots to fly in WWII. So I am very conscious of the service and sacrifices that millions of Americans and other nations made to defend freedom - ours and others. 

With that in mind the notion that the Captain America film portrayed of a hero coming in to save the day and repulse our enemies seemed ludicrous and even slightly offensive. We didn't have a superhero and yet we won the day, repulsed and defeated the enemy. There were ordinary people who stepped up and did the hard, dangerous, death defying job - many who could have easily avoided it. They were the heroes.

I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, nor cast aspersions on what someone may enjoy. But for me, I am done with superheroes. No need for waiting for the few fantastical creatures to save the day. it is for us ordinary folks to be willing to step up, be willing to roll up our sleeves and work. To stand for what is right, to defend the vulnerable, to oppose the wrong and those who do wrong. To speak for the speechless and encourage the disheartened. And it is for us to celebrate the real heroes who, though ordinary did extraordinary deeds. 

Live in the present

 I believe in time travel, because we do it all the time. We live in the past or in the future, whether it be better or worse. Oftentimes we live in the past, dwelling on and regretting past failures and  missed opportunities, or celebrating and resting on past laurels of victories and happy memories. Or we live in the future, either dreading future deadlines or anticipated disasters, or looking forward eagerly to happier times and gatherings especially if desired to escape current or past woes.

But as we are jetting off to the future or dwelling on the past, reality is present and we need to live here. We cannot change the past -except to use it for lessons to apply today. And we have no control over the future - except to plan ahead for better outcomes tomorrow. And if we are not living in the present we may fail to appreciate the good things that are here today. We are only guaranteed today and it is a special gift.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and realized that they were not with you? Their eyes had that glazed over appearance. You have a time traveler on your hands. You may feel like saying "can you hear me now?" or "are you with me" We all have times when we are like that. Let that be a reminder to you, when you are here, be here. Look them in the eye, listen to the words they say, ask questions to show that you hear them. 

Someone once said, The past is a cancelled check, the future is a promissory note, the present is cold hard cash. Spend it wisely.